Return to Narnia
by Reach4thestars19
Summary: A teenager in our world discovers a box labeled "Susan" and inside she finds out about Susan, the Pevensies and Narnia. She learns that Narnia is in trouble and Susan is needed. Can she find Susan and help restore her faith? Set post "The Last Battle".
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**AN: I do not own any of these characters from the Narnia series. They belong to C.S. Lewis and his estate. I also do not make any profit off of this. **

Brushing her hair in the mirror, Susan Pevensie hummed along with the radio that was playing in her bedroom. It was American music, which she had found herself really enjoying when she had gone there with her parents. It was not as beautiful as the music from Narnia though. The festivals among all the creatures, the fauns, centaurs, woodland animals for miles…

"Stop it," she frowned in the mirror. She could still not get Narnia out of her mind. It had been about nine years now since they had ruled and eight years since she had last been there. While she knew that all of her siblings were now too old to return, the pain still was fresh. For, while she hid it behind make up and dancing, Susan had a soft heart that had been broken by this. Yes, it had been discussed, but that did not make it easier.

She forced these thoughts from her mind as she looked back at the mirror. She was twenty one years old now, and looked quite beautiful. Many suitors had come to pay her a visit and she often had numerous invitations to parties. She studied her reflection and gave a small nod. Her blue eyes were bright, slightly enhanced by the make up she had applied. Her raven colored hair tumbled past her shoulders, curled.

That was why she was at home instead of at the train station to meet her family. Her younger sister, Lucy; her parents; her cousin, Eustace; her cousin's friend, Jill; the Professor Kirke and 'Aunt' Polly, who wasn't really their aunt, but they all called her that. Her two brothers, Peter and Edmund had gone to get them so that Susan could get ready for the party tonight. It was supposed to be the party of the season and no one had begrudged her this night. After all, she promised to stay in during the days the followed to visit with everyone. She herself had just gotten into back home two days before from university. She had one more year left there, though she did not know her plans after that. She had time though. She wanted to spend time with her friends while home.

She hummed to herself and danced across the room to her closet. She took out the dress she would be wearing that night. It was a beautiful blue that brought out her eyes and it was very stylish at the time. It would be the first time she had worn it and hoped it would not be the last. At the parties she could lose herself and imagine herself back at one of the balls she had enjoyed so much.

She stopped humming mid bar as the music also ended quickly. She frowned slightly and glanced over at it. It was still on, so what was going on?

"Attention. We interrupt our program with an urgent message. British Railways train number 38 has just crashed into the platform in the London station. We have no confirmed numbers as to those injured in this accident. We advise all persons searching for passengers to contact the London police and that those traveling find alternative routes that do not go near this area of the city…."

The alert continued, but Susan had already tuned it out. Her dress, so important a moment ago had fallen from her hands and now was at heap on the floor. She didn't notice that though. All she could think of were the people there. Her mother, father, Peter, Edmund, Lucy, Eustace, Jill, the Professor and 'Aunt' Polly. They had to be alright. They just had to be.

Susan pulled on her shoes quickly, tying them quickly as she ran down the stairs and to the front door. She took her jacket off the coat rack, for while it was warm, she felt so cold that her entire body was shivering and her teeth were chattering. The radio announcer had not said that anyone was hurt, or killed, but she had a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach that grew to encompass her entire body.

While Susan had not been known to run to many places, for it was much more sophisticated to take a cab, Susan ran as fast as she could. She did not care that some were looking at her strangely. She had to get to that station and if traffic was being told to divert from that area, the only way to get there would be by foot.

Her lungs were burning and her legs felt like lead when she finally saw the station. She had been there numerous times, but this time it was different. While there were often many people there, the panic and worry was clearly sensed, even from a distance. There were ambulances there as well as police officers who were trying to control the crowd that had formed there.

Susan picked up her speed even though her heart felt as it if might burst, whether from the run or fear, she did not know. She would give up her party tonight; in fact, she would give up all parties if only her family would be okay.

She joined the crowd of people who were all shouting out names. A man with a clipboard stood there with a few other officers.

"You must remain calm. We are unsure of the state of all individuals as our rescue crews as still going through the debris in the area to find those wounded."

"What?" Susan could barely hear her own voice over the shouts of the crowd. All she could think of was the fact that rescue crews were called in. They would not be called in if there were just injuries. She attempted to push herself closer to the front. She needed to talk to someone. Anyone who could tell her about her family.

All of a sudden there was a rush of people and the young woman stumbled and barely managed to stop herself from falling onto the hard pavement. The second oldest Pevensie then found herself being caught in the crowd, and could only move with it. It was like trying to fight a giant wave on the ocean.

She could feel herself being shoved against others and for a moment, feared she might get trampled to death and the crowd was trying to break through the barrier of police. She was pressed forward and could feel the change when the crowd seemed to weaken the barrier.

Being in the front of the crowd, she noticed a small opening between two of the officers. One was busy trying to keep a man close to his own size back and his attention was on this task. As the crowd surged forward once more, Susan felt herself stumble once more and instead of staying there, she slid between the two officers and started to run. Others in the crowd saw this and they started to shout at her, though she could not tell what they were saying. Even though her lungs were still aching, she pushed herself to run. A police officer shouted at her to stop, but the crowd was trying to fight through the human barrier even more now, and it took all of the officers to keep from them getting through as well.

Susan's feet flew across the ground, but she did not feel them even touch as she ran into the station. There was chaos all over as medics, officers and rescue crews were digging through the debris. She stepped short seeing this. The very platform that she had stood on with her siblings when they had left London was now in only splintered pieces of wood. The train no longer even looked like a train. Instead there were just twisted pieces of metal.

"Peter! Edmund! Lucy!" she shouted loudly for her siblings, searching over those that had been pulled from the wreckage already. There were a few injured that were nursing what looked like broken arms and legs, as well as numerous wounds covering their bodies, being tended to the three medical attendants there. However, many of those already pulled from the wreck lay still and some were even covered by blankets and jackets. Susan already knew their fate and it was not remaining on this world. It made her stomach clench, but she hurried to a fairly cleared away area that ran along the tracks.

"Peter! Ed! Lu!" she shouted again. "Mum! Dad! Eustance! Jill!" Her shouts were causing workers to turn and look at her. It was clear that she was not supposed to be there. Susan didn't care though. She tried to pull away wreckage, shouting repeatedly for her family and friends. Each beat of her heart brought heartbreak and hope. She wanted to see them to be sure they were alright. However, since she hadn't seen them yet, she could only hope it was because they were calmly awaiting rescue. In her heart though, she was certain that would not be the case.

She heard some of the rescue workers call to one another. They must have found someone. Susan scrambled over the wreckage to the other side of what was left of the train. A piece of metal cut at her leg, but she barely noticed. She knew the pain would set in, but right now her only concern was finding her family.

Scrambling over the rest of the debris, she reached the other side. She glanced down at the cut on her leg. It was almost a surprise. It didn't hurt, yet there was a fresh gash on her leg that was turning red from the blood.

Susan did not focus on this though. The glance had been enough to prove that she had indeed cut herself, but she was not worried about herself. She didn't see anyone she was looking for. She did see a few more workers going to what looked like the remains of a train car.

She rushed to where the men were pulling back another piece of metal. She stopped a few feet away, giving them room to work, but staying close to see what, or who they had found. Something was telling her that the next few seconds would change her life. She was right.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Another man moved forward and all Susan could see for a moment was that of a hand. A hand that was small, looking as if it belonged to a young woman, and it was too still and pale.

Then, as the worker carried the person out, one arm under the person's knees, the other under the person's back, Susan felt her heart jump into her throat. It was a young girl, whose fair hair was messed, matted and bloody. Another man carefully brushed back the girl's hair to see her face.

Susan's felt as if the entire world was collapsing around her as she saw the familiar face, brown eyes closed, looking peaceful as if she was sleeping. She was not sleeping though. She was dead. Her sister, Lucy, was dead.

She heard a cry, almost animalistic full of grief. She did not know where it was coming from until the workers all turned to look at her. She was the one making that sound, but she couldn't stop. She felt as if her heart was breaking and the pain was too extreme to bear.

"No!" she stumbled to the man holding Lucy, pulling her sister into her arms. "Lucy! Lucy! No!" Tears were falling, hard and hot on her cheeks, sobs wracking her entire body. She clutched the still form of her sister, hugging her close. "I believe…Lu, I believe. Don't leave me!"

"Lu! Lucy!"

Susan sat up in bed with a shout, her heart racing so fast she felt like it might leap out of her chest. Her breathing was labored and her throat felt raw as if from screaming, or the weight of unshed tears. Her entire body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, chills running through her even though she had a blanket over herself.

One hand moved to push back her hair and she was surprised to feel some of it sticking to wet cheeks. Her cheeks were tear stained, and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them, rocking slightly back and forth. A small whimper escaped and she quickly tried to muffle it with her fist, shutting her eyes tightly.

It had been a year. A year of nightmares that woke her in the middle of the night. A year of seeing faces of those familiar in the crowds as she walked down the street. A whole year of crying and pain that did not seem to be lessening.

She reached her hand beside her, searching for something in the dark on the bedside table beside her. Her hand brushed over her journal, which she wrote in almost every night. She made sure to keep it locked and to keep the key close to her so that others could not read it. They were too personal to share.

Her hand continued to move, touched the cord of the lamp, but not pulling it. She was sharing a room with her schoolmate, Elizabeth and if her screams that not had not waken her, she did not want to do it by turning on a light.

Then her fingers brushed over something soft and furry. She picked it up and pulled it close, hugging it. It was Lucy's stuffed dog, the one she had received from their father before he left for war. Lucy kept it with her the entire time, sleeping with it and keeping it close when they had traveled to the Professor's.

Susan shook her head, cheek pressed against the dog's soft cloth fur, willing herself to stop thinking about them. She couldn't though. Whenever she walked past a school yard and saw a brown haired girl, images of Lucy came to her. Every time she saw two boys together, joking, fighting, interacting in anyway, she thought of Peter and Edmund. She sometimes even thought she saw the others; Jill, Eustace, the Professor, 'Aunt Polly', and of course, her parents.

Even though her thoughts were dwelling on her nightmare, she was still aware of her surroundings. She was no longer in England, moving to America about six months after the accident, to continue schooling in a place that was not full of ghosts of her dead family and friends. It helped in some ways, but she was very homesick for her island nation. She planned to return when the pain did not wake her at night and when the memories would become bittersweet. That day had not come yet.

"Susan?" a sleepy voice asked and she could hear movement as her roommate shifted on the bed that was set across the room from her.

"Yes?" she managed to answer after a moment.

"What is wrong?" Elizabeth asked. Her American accent was almost as familiar now to Susan and the English accents she had been around most of her life.

"Just a dream," she answered.

She could hear the sound of the mattress moving on the other side of the room, and then the almost silent footsteps as Elizabeth walked across the room to Susan. The mattress made a creaking sound and she felt a comforting arm around her shoulders.

Susan looked up, blue eyes wide red rimmed; meeting Elizabeth's concerned green ones in the dim light that managed to sneak in from behind the window.

"The one with the train again?" she asked. Susan often had nightmares and would awake screaming. Some nights were worse than others. This was a bad one.

Susan just nodded in response, still holding the stuffed animal close. It was somewhat faded, but in a comforting way. However, it was a reminder of Lucy, her brothers, her parents and friends. It reminded her of Narnia. Of Aslan.

"Aslan," the pain gripped her heart as she whispered. "Where are you?" she managed to finish her soft question before she could not hold back the tears anymore.

The tears started to fall as a sob escaped and she felt Elizabeth hug her. In the beginning, Elizabeth had just let Susan be. Now, though, knowing how she had lost her entire family, Elizabeth wanted to help her best friend, even though she could not understand how hard it must be. She had heard Susan at night crying out for her family. However, she also sometimes heard her call out the words "Aslan" and "Narnia". She asked about that once, but the pain in Susan's eyes was enough to stop her from asking again.

Susan's head fell on her friend's shoulder, tears flowing freely as familiar pain ripped through her heart.


	2. A Heartbreaking Loss

**Chapter 1**

**Present Day**

The wind howled sounding like a mournful cry. The rain that hit the windows was so extreme that sometimes it was hard to hear the wind. It was as if the heavens above were flooding the earth once more.

A flash of lightening lit up the world, brighter than the sunniest day ever could, before the world was once again plunged into darkness. This was followed just a moment later by a crack of thunder. It could be felt shaking the ground and the air. The windows of the old two story home rattled even more.

Inside, a young woman was moving through the house. In her hand, she carried a small box of candles, which she was placing in the various rooms, lightening them with the matches from the small box she had with her.

Her hair, which was a dark blonde, almost light brown, was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. Her brown eyes showed signs of worry, as well as exhaustion, circles under her eyes. She had a sweatshirt pulled over a t-shirt and jeans that were clearly well worn, the cuffs frayed. She was barefoot, feet making no sound on the floor as she did.

She clearly had many worries on her shoulders as she set the last few candles in the kitchen, one on the counter and one on the table, lightening them both.

Quickening her pace, she trotted out of the room and up the stairs, only the balls of her feet touching, moving quickly and careful not to step on the candles that she had set four stairs apart from one another.

She slowed slightly, entering the first room on the right after passing two rooms on the left. She slid into the room, where most of the candles were lit. It cast eerie light over the entire room, yet it was possible to see the room well.

It was small compared to what many would now consider a master bedroom. A bed was in the middle of it, headboard against the wall. A mirrored vanity was against the wall nearest the door. A brush, as well as a few cosmetics and a bottle of perfume were on the vanity; clearly they had been carefully arranged. At the far wall, there was a small desk, stationary also laid out; complete with envelopes and two pens. A cushioned chair was beside the bed and it was to this that the girl walked. She sat on the chair and took the hand of the figure in the bed.

In the bed there laid a pale figure. The woman had hair that was medium brown in color, or at least it was when she was younger. There were streaks of grey hair. She was clearly past her prime, over the age of eighty. Streaks of gray sprinkled through her hair. Lines were clearly visible on her face, especially around her eyes and mouth.

When the girl, who was nineteen, took the older woman's hand, the woman looked over, her green eyes meeting the girl's troubled brown ones.

"I put candles all over, for light. The power will come back soon though," she spoke, thumb brushing over the older woman's knuckles. Another flash of lightening occurred, lightening the room slightly since the shades were only half closed. A clap of thunder followed, so loud that the girl gave a small start.

"Thank you, dear heart," the woman spoke, breathing deeply as she did. Clearly it was difficult to speak and a pained look flashed over the young woman's features.

"Shh…don't speak, Grandma," she insisted. "You need to keep your strength and rest." She took the woman's hand in both of hers, fighting unsuccessfully to blink back tears. Her eyes watered, but she refused to let them fall.

The older woman looked over at her granddaughter and slowly reached her other hand over, so that both of them were holding the hands of one another. "My dear, sweet Ella. You must have courage."

"Courage?" she repeated before biting her lip. Lightening and thunder were growing in intensity outside, the thunder so loud it almost hurt her ears.

"To let me go." She reached with one hand and touched a strand of the younger woman's hair, which had fallen out of place, now hanging in front of her face.

"I don't know if I have that much courage," Ella managed to whisper.

"You do. You are brave and strong. There are still many trials you will have to face, but you will manage it."

Ella nodded, taking the woman's hands in her own. "I will grandma. For you," she whispered, a lone tear escaping, rolling down her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," the woman whispered to her granddaughter, even though it had been difficult. Her breath was shortening and a look of pain was on her features.

Ella looked at her with wide eyes. "Grandma, I am going to call the paramedics. Just…know I love you." She kissed her forehead before running out of the room. Her feet still made no sound on the worn carpeting that covered the stairs. Her eyes were large, not even paying attention to the rain, thunder or lightening. Her only mission was to reach the phone.

It was in the kitchen and she picked up the receiver, breathing a small sigh of relief when she heard the dial tone. The power was out, but apparently the phone lines were still working. Dialing 911, she was impatient even before it started to ring on the other end of the line. Three rings passed and while it had only been seconds, it seemed like ages to Ella, whose heart was beating rapidly, as if she had just run a marathon.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My grandmother is sick! She is having trouble breathing and, please I need someone here immediately," Ella insisted.

"How serious is her inability to breath?" the woman on the other end asked.

"She has cancer and she in a lot of pain. She just started to have trouble breathing. Please, we need someone immediately."

"Alright, ma'am, I will send someone to the address we have in the system for this number. Just stay on the line with me."

At that moment, a number of things happened at once. A flash of lightening lit the rain drenched world in a white, unearthly light. A booming clap of thunder accompanied the lightening, so loud it sounded like a gunshot, the sound echoing down the street. Severe storms like this only happened once every few years. There was a click of the phone line going dead.

Ella slammed the receiver back in the cradle and ran back to the stairs. A feeling of dread had overcome her at all this. A dread so intense, she felt as if her heart had leapt into her throat.

Ella raced back up the stairs, this time, feet making a muffled thumping sound as she did. She burst into the room without slowing like she had before.

"Grandma!" she shouted, rushing to the woman's side, kneeling next to her on the side of the bed. Her grandmother did not answer and Ella was certain that she felt alone in the room. She touched her grandmother's hand, which was still warm. She touched the woman's wrist, but when she felt no pulse, she touched the side of her neck to check for a pulse there. "Grandma!" she shouted again, this time, tears were falling uncontrollably, not feeling a pulse there.

A cracking sound was heard as lightening once again illuminated the sky. Ella could see her grandmother's features for just a moment before the world once again was plunged into near darkness.

Her grandmother's eyes were closed and her face looked relaxed, no longer troubled like it had for so long. There was also a faint smile on her lips, as if holding a great secret.

"Grandma!" Ella wailed before collapsing over the woman, arms going around her grandmother as she cried. The salty tears fell, no longer held back by the need to be strong for her grandmother. Sobs escaped her throat, sounds that sounded foreign even to Ella. She felt her heart breaking to lose the one person she had left in the world.

She continued to sob, clinging to her grandmother. She did not know how long she lay like that. While the storm continued to rage outside the howling winds, flashes of lightening, claps of thunder and the pounding rain did not faze Ella as she cried.

It was not until a paramedic, who had let himself in when Ella had not answered the door when he had knocked, touched her shoulder that she even took notice of anything aside from her pain.

The second paramedic entered and immediately knew what had happened. This time it was a woman, and she slowly loosened Ella's arms from her grandmother so that she could pull the young girl away.

Ella wanted to fight, wanted to scream that she had to stay. No words escaped though, only a few strangled sobs, and tears that fell to the floor. As she was led through the doorway and into the hallway, she felt as if the entire world was spinning. The flash of the lightening and the crash of thunder that accompanied it disoriented her even more and she stumbled, falling to the ground.


	3. Looking into the Past

**Chapter 2**

**AN: I forgot to mention this before. While I do not own Narnia or any of the characters (they belong to C.S. Lewis and his estate), Ella and Elizabeth are my creations so please do not use them without permission. **

Three months. Three months since the storm had ripped branches off of trees, and caused nearly a foot of rain to fall in one night. It had also been three months since Ella's life turned upside down.

The winter sky was darkened, the faint afternoon sun struggling to break through the clouds. The threat of snow lingering the air, though there was already six inches of the white powder covering the ground and trees. It also hid the remaining destruction of the storm that had not been taken care of, so the setting was calm and peaceful. At least, that is how it looked.

Ella was sitting on a swing in a small park, gloved hands holding the chains, heel of her right foot digging into the frozen ground. She appeared to be slowly swaying in the frigid wind as she extended her leg and then with the small purchase her heel had, she pulled herself forward. She had lost count of how many times she had done this, her leg doing this almost without her knowledge.

Her brown hair was being blown in the wind and the cold air caused her eyes to water. Her lungs felt as if they were burning slightly as she inhaled the air deeply. The ache was a welcoming distraction from the pain that still was living in her, clawing at her heart like an animal.

She had passed out that night, due to hyperventilating as well as shock. She had never done that before in her life and she felt almost shamed that it had happened. The paramedic that had seen to her had also asked Ella about what she had eaten that day. The truth was that the young woman had been much more focused on her ailing grandmother that entire week, not wanting to leave her side, even for food.

Her grandmother was taken to the hospital, the paramedics doing all that they could to save her even though they were all certain there was nothing else they could do. She was pronounced dead upon arrival. The cause of death was a mixture of things, but Ella knew that they had been caused by one thing. Cancer. Cancer had taken her grandmother, the only family that she had left in the world.

At least, that had been how it felt. Her parents had been decent when she was born, making certain there was a nanny to care for her and for her sister who was born five years later. Ella still remembered holding her sister for the first time and being so excited about having a sibling.

Everything changed when she turned ten years old. Her parents had decided to send her to a boarding school. Ella had not wanted to leave, crying about it. She had wanted to stay with her sister and with her nanny. While she loved her parents, they were too busy with their own lives to spend more than a few minutes with her. That is why it had surprised her that she had been sent away.

Now, almost a decade later, she understood that things were different for her. She had gone through a few years at boarding school, which had been a private girl's only school. While nice, she longed for a place to call home. She found that when her grandmother had invited her for her first break during the winter and since then, Ella had gone there every time she was not at school. She had not even heard from her sister since they were split up all those many years ago. It had always been her grandmother who had been there, through laughter and tears. Ella considered her to be more like a parent than either of hers could ever be, and often wondered how her mother could have turned out the way she did. It seemed as if they came from two different worlds, yet Elizabeth had raised Victoria, Ella's mother.

Not for the first time, she wondered how things would be if she was still close to her father and mother. She knew she couldn't really fault her younger sister, but why had they decided to find it okay to be parents with their second child, after sending their first to boarding school as soon as they could? They had been traveling the world when she had breaks from school so after the first year of attempting to set up a chance to visit with them, Ella decided it was best to just be with her grandmother.

Victoria, Ella's mother had gone to college and met a man, Henry, who came from money and liked pretty things, like Ella's mother. They got married and her mother quickly adjusted to the good life. Ella knew her grandmother, who was Victoria's mother, didn't agree with it. That might have been why she was so willing to let Ella stay with her.

Though the tuition to her school continued to be paid for a few years, her parents never called or came to visit. It was always her grandmother. Then, before she started high school, she had been informed that the payments would stop. So, she moved in with her grandmother and attended a public school. It certainly was different, but Ella did well enough. She skipped ahead a year, making her the youngest in her class, but she was alright with that.

She graduated and only her grandmother came. After that, Ella attended a community college part time and worked to help pay for school and her grandmother had helped when she could.

Then her grandmother got sick and it all changed.

Stopping her swaying movement abruptly, she got to her feet. She didn't want to think about family. Her only family that cared about her was gone and she didn't want her thoughts to dwell on the family that had forgotten about her. She had left a message about Elizabeth's death, but no one had bothered to come to the funeral. There was a small arrangement of flowers, but it was probably done by her absent father's company.

Ella sighed, coming back to the present. She did not want to go back to the house and do what she had to, but putting it off made it even more difficult.

After one last look at the empty playground, she started the walk back to the house. She knew she was just putting off the inevitable. Her grandmother's savings certainly wouldn't last too much longer. She needed to sell the house, find a new place to live and get a job.

She knew her grandmother would shake her head, since she wanted Ella to go back to college. Ella had gone for only one semester and once her grandmother became sick, she dropped out to take care of her.

Her life was never going to be the same. How could it? The only constant person in her life was gone.

She felt the tears threaten to rise up and wiped quickly at her eyes. This wasn't the time to cry. She had to be strong and brave.

Letting herself into the house, she hung up her coat on the coat rack, and then slowly climbed up the stairs.

Ella dreaded this, but she knew it had to be done.

She pushed open the door to her grandmother's room, a small part of her hoping that her grandmother would be there, but it was empty except for some of the furniture and a few boxes.

Ella didn't plan on keeping much. She would throw out some things and give a lot away. Her grandmother had always believed in charity and made certain that clothes that didn't fit her were always donated. That is what was in the boxes. There were just a few more things left to go through.

Ella went into the closet and climbed onto the chair she was using to so she could reach the top shelves. Most of the things there hadn't been used lately, if the layers of dust on them were any indication.

She had cleared most of it, aside from a few boxes. She grabbed the one closest to her and pulled it toward her body. It was heavier than the others and she had to reposition her hands to grip it well.

She carefully slid it off the shelf and then stepped off the chair, still holding the box in both hands.

She set the box down and knelt beside it. There was dust covering it and she used one hand to brush away at it. The cloud of dust made her sneeze twice, but then she could read the writing on top.

It was simply labeled _Susan_.

Ella couldn't think of anyone named Susan, but maybe there was more information in the box.

She picked up the scissors she had near her and used that to cut the tape securing the top of the box shut. It only took a moment and she opened the flaps of the box.

Inside that, there was another box and a few other items. One was a stack of letters that was tied together with a now faded ribbon that might have been deep blue years ago. She saw from the top letter that it was addressed to her grandmother. She didn't recognize the return address, but she thought it might belong to Susan. From the postmark on one of them, she saw that the letter was about thirty years old.

She also saw a yellowing piece of paper and took it out. It was a wedding announcement, saying that Susan Pevensie had married David Roberts, an officer in the U.S. armed forces. There was a mention that Susan was from Finchley in England and had moved to the United States after the war.

Ella knew that had to be who Susan was, though she wondered how she knew her grandmother and why she had never heard her grandmother mention Susan.

The smaller cardboard box was not sealed, the edges just folded over so it just took a little pull to open the folded over edges.

On the top was a note, yellowed with age.

_Dear Elizabeth,_

_I am asking you to please hold onto these items. I cannot bear to look at them anymore, yet I can't bear to part with them forever. One day, I will ask for them back. Until then, I ask that you please hold them for me. _

_Your friend,_

_Susan_

Ella was more curious now and set the letter to the side to look at the contents of the box. The first thing she saw was a small stuffed dog. Clearly it had been loved if the worn and matted fake fur was any indication.

She took it out and looked at its blank button eyes, wondering why it was in the box. She carefully set it aside and continued to look through the items. One thing was a framed photograph of four people in uniforms. School uniforms from the looks of it. There were two boys, one with fair hair and one with dark hair. The one with blonde hair looked older than the others, though probably only by a few years. Ella was bad at guessing at ages, but she assumed that when the picture was taken, the older was probably almost done with school, so just a little younger than she was at that moment. The other two people were girls. One had dark hair, much like the younger boy. With her was a younger girl who had light brown hair. Ella could only assume that one of these girls was Susan, but which one? There hadn't been a picture with the wedding announcement.

There was a small leather bound book and when Ella carefully opened it, she saw more photos. She didn't know who they were, but as she moved further through the book, she thought that the young children could be the ones in the framed photo. The other adults might be her parents or other family members. The writing on the pages had faded.

Reaching the last page, she flipped it open and two pieces of paper fluttered free. She picked up the first one and saw it was another newspaper clipping, but older than that wedding announcement. It was from 1949 and announced a terrible railway accident. Ella got a sickening feeling that Susan had lost someone on that train. Why else would it be painful to have these reminders?

The second piece of paper was also a newspaper clipping and it mentioned to loss of most of the Pevensie family. Scanning the story, Ella felt stunned. Susan had lost her younger sister, an older brother, a younger brother, her parents and a cousin.

Though Ella was suffering her own grief, what would it be like to lose everyone at once like that? Losing her grandmother had been difficult and she was alone. Yet, this sounded so much more tragic. To lose everyone and so expectantly, would have been hard. At least Ella had time with her grandmother.

So that explained why the note said it was painful to have these things. How did her grandmother fit with this?

Putting the newspaper clippings back into the photo album again, she looked at the photo once more. She assumed the older girl was Susan, since the article had mentioned the death of a younger sister. The boys were probably her two brothers.

She put those things aside then pulled out the smaller box. It was heavy and she was careful with it. She noticed it wasn't just a box, but a hat box. There was a ribbon that probably had been white many years ago, tied around it. She knew she might be intruding, but she was curious. She untied the delicate satin ribbon and then lifted the lid.

Inside that, she found two small bundles of letters, each with a different ribbon tied around it. One was light pink and the other was a forest green, both faded.

She took those out and carefully set them aside. Inside the box there was a small jewelry box, barely enough to hold more than a few pieces of jewelry. Then, she found a few small books, yet there was no cover on them. Pulling one out, she saw that there was nothing on the spine either. Then, she noticed a very faint I in the lower right hand corner of the front cover Taking out another, she saw II in that corner and she realized that they were numbered in numerical order. The last one was labeled X, making it number ten. She realized they had to be journals. She gave a small tug, and then noticed the lock on it. She looked at the others and they all had the same lock on them. There was no way to read them without destroying the lock, unless she had a key. She took out all the journals but there was no key in the hatbox.

Then she remembered the small jewelry box. She opened the clasp and saw a brooch. It had a small pearl with gold wiring. It was nice. There was also a decorative hair comb. Ella liked it as well, though neither were things she would wear. The only other item was a necklace.

Ella picked it up and looked at the front, which had some etched designs on the front. It could use some polish, since it was silver. It would be beautiful if it was shined. Turning it over, she saw that, on the back, were the initials S.P.

"Susan Pevensie," she murmured.

Though she couldn't remember ever hearing of a Susan, she felt like she was getting to know her already, just from this box.

Seeing hinges on the side of the necklace, she realized it wasn't just a necklace. It was a locket. Working her thumbnail into the small groove on the side, she managed to open it. Something slid out of the locket and onto the floor.

Ella noticed that there were two people one side and she recognized them from the photo album. Susan's parents. The other picture showed somewhat familiar children. All four of the children smiled back from the black and white photo. The Pevensie family.

Ella looked at the floor then, to see what had fallen out. A key. She looked at it then held it up to the lock of one of the journals. They seemed to fit together.

She shivered and realized she was chilly. It was time to get warmer and see if she could figure out a little bit more about Susan Pevensie.


	4. Journal Entries

**Chapter 3**

**AN: I have taken a few liberties on the years. I prefer the ages of the Pevensies in the recent movies more than their ages on the books so I have made them 2 years older than they are in the books. In the books, during the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Peter is the oldest at thirteen, making Susan making years old. With the changes, Peter is fifteen and Susan is fourteen during these events. I have kept the age differences between the children the same. I may also mix a few things from the movies into the events of the books.**

Ella clasped the locket around her neck, then quickly carried the first journal to her bedroom. She opened the blinds to let in natural light and then picked up the thick fleece blanket that was folded at the foot of her bed. She wrapped it around her shoulders, keeping it around her with one hand while the other clutched the journal and key.

Her bed was in the corner of the room that was furthest from the door. Next to it, there was a nightstand with a small lamp on top of it, as well as her alarm clock. The desk was against the wall near the bed and if the chair was pulled out too far, it would touch the foot of her bed. An armchair was right by the double window that faced outside, though it wasn't exactly centered in the room. A dresser was pressed against the wall near the door. Next to the window was a four shelf bookcase with a few books on the shelves, though they hadn't been read lately. The armchair was the favorite part of her room, though it made it cramped.

She settled into the large oversized chair, able to pull her legs up, leaning her body against the inside of it. The fabric was well worn, but Ella loved it. It was still the right size for her to curl up and when she had the blanket covering her while there, she felt more secure than she had since her grandmother had gotten sick.

Settled onto the chair, she set the journal on her lap. She kept it steady with one hand while she put the small key into the lock. Maybe she shouldn't be doing it, but she was curious. She thought about it for another moment then turned the key. She told herself if she was meant to read it, it would work. If not, then the key wouldn't work. The metal clasp clicked and she was able to easily fold back the leather binding the kept the journal locked.

Deciding to take this as an answer, she opened to the first page. She noticed that the date in the corner of the page was from 1935.

_Dear diary,_

_Today I am nine years old. Mum and Dad gave me this to write in. They said it was good to write what I think when I go to school. Soon I will go to school like Peter. He goes to a school not here. I miss him. He comes home soon to visit. I also have another brother. He is seven. His name is Edmund. I have a sister. She is only five. Her name is Lucy. Peter is ten._

Ella hadn't expected the journal to be that if a child. Yet, there was nothing really personal, from what she could tell. Just the ramblings of a child. Yet, she was still curious so, after pausing just long enough to slide the small key onto the locket chain and fastening it around her neck again, she continued. There was a mention of a mean girl at school once she got there. The writing style became better as she got a little older, though it didn't seem Ella long to get through the book. Trouble on the continent was mentioned and Ella realized that meant World War II.

Before she knew it, Ella was on the last page and realized that was it. For that journal. There were many more though. Nine more to be exact.

She hesitated, touching the key around her neck. Did she want to continue? She knew that there was something intriguing about these journals, though it was an invasion of privacy. She doubted her grandmother ever read them.

Ella knew she had to at least return the journal. She pushed the latch against the front cover and it locked with a soft click.

With the blanket still wrapped around her, she carried it back to her grandmother's room, wooden floor boards creaking quietly even with rugs over the worn floor.

She nearly tiptoed into the close, still feeling a bit like an intruder in her grandmother's room and found the box where she left it.

She put the other journal down then looked at the second one. She knew she could stop and look for Susan online or maybe call information for a phone number. The address she had for her was old, but it might be enough.

However, she pulled out the second journal then paused. She was certain it had been locked. They all had. Yet, this one was clearly unlocked, the leather flap hanging open.

Ella checked the rest and saw that they were still locked. She picked up the journal and decided to read just a few more pages before closing it.

She noticed there was no addressing the book itself. It just started with a date.

_I still cannot believe that mother is sending us away. We leave tomorrow. I can't bear to think about it. She gave me this book to write in, but I am not certain what I will have to write about. We are going to the country to stay with a professor. Mother assured us that it will be like holiday, but it won't. She won't be there and neither will Father. She said it was only for a little while. Yet, then why does this war seem to continue?_

_I can't help wondering if our actions are the reason we are going away. Mother told me she worried about Lucy, yet I do not worry for her. She has a good heart and has not lost her innocence, such as her firm belief in Father Christmas._

_Peter and Edmund do quarrel. I am not certain what to do with them. I know Peter does not want to be sent away like a child. I know he wants to fight in the war, but he is only fifteen years old. I worry that if the war continues, he will become of age and go to fight. So many are killed or horribly injured. I do not wish that to happen to him._

_I am not certain why Edmund has been so difficult. It is hard to have patience with him._

_As for me, Mother worries I have grown up too fast. She said that to me tonight after she gave me the book. As I pointed out to her, wartime is not a time to be a child._

Ella found this a lot more interesting than the last journal. There were so many more thoughts and though only three years had passed since the start of the first journal, she knew that Susan had grown up. She had learned about the Blitz at school and now tried to imagine what it was like. It must have been terrifying. From what Susan wrote, it was. She wrote about air raids and hiding in a bomb shelter behind their home. About seeing houses completely destroyed. It is no wonder she grew up so fast.

She continued to read about a train ride to the country and about the house full of strange items that they were told not to touch. Susan wrote about the maid and about trying to come up with things to do, especially when it rained. She talked about looking up words in a dictionary and having others guess the meanings. It sounded dull.

_I do truly think it rains more in the country than it does in the city. I am probably quite mistaken, but we always found things to do at home. Here it is difficult. _

_I think the only one having fun is Lucy. Her imagination is keeping her entertained. Just today, while playing hide and seek, she burst out of her hiding spot and told the three of us that she had been gone for hours, visiting a faun in the woods. If that isn't strange enough, she claimed she had found that land by going into a wardrobe in another room._

_It is a beautiful wardrobe with intricate carvings, but no more than that. We checked the wardrobe, but found no magic passageway. I didn't believe we would, but Lucy looked quite upset about the whole situation. Yet, how can we believe in that? There is no way that it is possible. _

_I do hope it stops raining soon so we can play outside._

Ella read a little more about what Susan wrote. The house they were in sounded interesting and very eclectic. Though apparently it isn't the place used to children.

Then Ella found another entry where the wardrobe was mentioned.

_Lucy woke all of us up claiming that she had gone to visit her faun again in this magical world once more though the wardrobe. She also claimed that Edmund was with her._

_Needless to say, we were surprised by this and asked him. Edmund claimed they had just been playing. Lucy was upset and ran from the room. Peter and I followed and we saw her hugging Professor Kirk. We haven't seen him much since he is busy, but he is a nice enough man. He sent Lucy to get hot chocolate and he talked to us. When we told him about what Lucy was saying, he seemed strangely interested. He asked us questions, such as whether Lucy is honest or a liar. It made us think, but both Peter and I find it impossible that a world could exist. We already looked at the wardrobe._

_Lucy was still sniffling when I arrived back at our room and she told me that she wasn't making up lies. I assured her that I knew she was honest. She asked if I believed in this magical world. I just told her to go to sleep._

_If only Mum was here. She would know what to do. Or Dad. Though, if Dad were here, I doubt he would have let Mum send us away like that._

_I need to go wash for breakfast. At least today looks nice. Hopefully we can go play outside._

The next entry was dated two days later, but it seemed different. The handwriting seemed different.

_Only two days here since my last entry, yet many many years elsewhere. Where shall I begin? I have so much to share, but I suppose I must start at the beginning._

This seemed interesting and Ella curled up a bit more under the blanket, tugging part of it so it covered her shoulder, the soft fabric brushing against her neck.

_I had been playing outside with Edmund and Peter. Lucy was reading a book, sulking. We broke a window and when we heard footsteps, we decided to hide. I am not sure why we decided that was the best course of action. We ended up hiding in the wardrobe. _

_We kept backing up further and further, yet instead of finding the back of it, we stumbled into a snowy land. Narnia._

Ella frowned a little, staring at the words. Susan sounded so logical that she couldn't imagine this was a game. Yet, how could there be a whole land there? She had never hid in a wardrobe, but she imagined she wouldn't find a world there. She decided there was only one way to get more answers, to keep reading.


	5. An Afternoon Walk and Answers

**Chapter 4**

_The rest of the story will be found in another journal because this is the last page. I will never forget Narnia, for I am a Queen there. I have many questions and thoughts, but those will be continued in the new journal, which I hope to receive soon._

Ella shut the book, feeling stunned, staring at the journal. It had been like reading an exciting novel. There had been a cruel witch that never allowed Christmas, though the world was covered in a blanket of snow. The children had gone to see Lucy's friend, a faun named Mr. Tumnus. He had been taken by the Queen. With the help of some talking beavers and a prophecy that didn't rhyme, the children set out to find Aslan.

Not all of them searched for him though. Edmund went to the Queen. He had lied about being there before. He had been promised many sweets and to help her rule if he brought them. Instead, he was a captive.

Susan said he never said more than that and she didn't find it right to ask. While pursued by the Queens guards, who were talking wolves, they had managed to find that spring time was returning.

They received gifts from Father Christmas. Peter received a sword and shield, Lucy a dagger and cordial to heal any affliction and Susan had received a quiver of arrows, a bow and a horn to use only when she was in great need of assistance.

They came to a camp and met Aslan who was, of all things, a talking lion. Susan insisted it wasn't weird, especially when she met other talking animals and beings like tree spirits and centaurs. It was hard to Ella to even imagine that.

The story continued that Edmund was saved, but that Aslan had given himself in Edmund's place. His mane was cut and he was killed. Susan had been so distraught by it all that there had been many pages just on how it felt. She and Lucy had followed him part of the way, but he had told them that they had to stay behind.

After his death, the girls knew a great battle was about to start, but they couldn't leave. With the help of mice, who chewed the ropes that held him, they pulled off the ropes that had been around him.

As they were leaving, there was a cracking sound and the ground shook. They looked back and saw Aslan's body was missing. Then, they saw him. He was alive. He said it was old magic and Susan explained more of that.

The girls, on his back, rushed to the Queen's castle. There, Aslan breathed on the creatures who had been turned to stone by the evil Queen. These beings, along with the girls and Aslan, arrived at the battle. There had been losses, but the reinforcements helped and Aslan himself destroyed the Queen.

It was almost a happy story if not for Edmund. He had been injured, but Lucy saved him with her cordial. He looked better than he ever had before. After saving many, everyone went to Cair Paravel. A castle. There, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy were crowned Kings and Queens of Narnia.

Susan's story continued, though she didn't document every day of her life. In fact, she grew up to an adult in Narnia. There were stories though, including a lost prince who had been found with the help of a girl and two talking horses.

There had to be more and once everything sank in, Ella rushed into the closet again. She put the journal back in place then reached for the next one.

She hesitated, and then grabbed the entire box. With a groan, she picked it up and carried it back to her room, setting it next to the chair. She had a feeling she wouldn't stop with the third journal.

She curled up in her chair again and just as she got the blanket wrapped around herself, she heard the phone ring.

"Who is that?" she muttered to no one in particular. She thought about not answering it, but decided against it.

By the second ring, she had managed to untangle her feet from the blanket and she ran out of the room and to the stairs. She quickly ran down them, through the formal dining room that was never used, into the kitchen where the phone was completing its fifth ring. "Hello?"

"Hello, Ella. It's Mrs. Calloway down the street."

"Hello, Mrs. Calloway," she greeted her, and then looked at the clock hanging above the kitchen doorway. "Oh my goodness, I am sorry. I lost track of time. I am on my way right now." She hung up and shook her head at herself. Her grandmother's neighbor had broken her arm two weeks before and so Ella was walking her dog once a day. There was a backyard, but Mrs. Calloway has asked Ella to walk Millie once a day and Ella had agreed. Afterall, how could she say no to one of her grandmother's best friends? Mrs. Calloway also came over a few times a week during the first two months with food. If not for her, Ella was certain she would have forgotten to eat.

Ella pulled on her snowboots and her winter coat, zipping it up to her neck. She pulled a hat on over her head and pushed her hands into her coat pockets, feeling her gloves there.

She locked the door behind her and then hurried the four houses to Mrs. Calloway's home. It was nice, like her grandmother's. Older, but it was well maintained. Her driveway and sidewalk were shoveled, probably by the neighbor boy who went around the neighborhood after every snowfall, asking if people wanted their driveways shoveled. In the spring and summer, she had a beautiful garden growing around the side of the house.

She stomped her feet off on the first step to try to rid her boots of snow.

"Thank you for doing this," Mrs. Calloway spoke up as she opened the front door. "The cold is just making my arm ache."

"It is alright. I am sorry I got so distracted," Ella answered as she stepped inside.

"Thank you again for doing this."

"You are welcome," she responded, then smiled as Millie walked over to her, tail wagging. She was a smaller dog, only about twenty five or thirty pounds and Ella couldn't even attempt to guess the mix of breeds that made the dog the way it was. It had a medium sized snout and brown eyes. Millie's long fur was a light sandy color except her paws which were spotted by white and dark brown fur. The same spots were on the dog's muzzle. "Ready to go for a walk, Millie girl?" she asked.

The dog's tail wagged even more and she sat down so Ella could fasten the leash.

"I'll make some hot chocolate so it will be ready when you get back," Mrs. Calloway told her.

"Thanks," Ella smiled and stepped out the front door.

While Millie was usually well behaved, that didn't mean she understood what 'heel' meant. She tugged at Ella's arm, strong for a small dog.

"I'm coming," Ella spoke to the dog as she walked to the sidewalk. Her hand was through the loop of the leash, holding part of it with her hand to help lessen the tugging. Millie would calm down eventually.

Ella took her on the same walk as usual, down the street and around the corner to start. Then, almost to the end of the street. She turned left at the last side street and about halfway down the block, she came to a path. Though there was snow, it was still travelled by many. She saw footprints, paw prints of dogs and what even looked like the indentations of a sled.

She never explored these woods until she started to walk Millie and that was just staying by the path. Millie was now trotting at her side, tail still wagging as they walked. They didn't run into anyone, but that was alright.

Ella knew the wooded area was almost entirely surrounded by houses, so the largest animal they might find would be a rabbit or squirrel. Though walking this far usually took about forty five minutes, including following the end of the path to the street and to Mrs. Calloway's, Ella didn't mind. Covered in snow and never seeing any other people, the woods were a calming place to Ella. If not for the fact it was January, she would have felt like it was the perfect place for Christmas card. She also thought about Susan's journals, mentioning the one hundred years of winter in Narnia. She wondered what that would be like.

Though Ella and Millie lingered in the woods, Ella looking at the forest, Millie interested in the scents, both hurried back once they reached the sidewalk again.

Ella wiped her boots off on the mat, and then attempted to help Millie do the same with her paws, holding each one as she brushed it over the mat.

She unhooked the leash and stepped inside. "Mrs. Calloway, we're back." She still found it a bit odd to just walk inside after the walk, but Mrs. Calloway had insisted.

"In the kitchen," she called.

Ella had a feeling she would be there and she took off her boots at the door. She took off her hat, shoving it in her jacket pocket before hanging up the jacket on the coatrack by the door.

Stepping into the warm kitchen, Ella saw that there was not just hot chocolate there. There was tomato soup in a bowl with a grilled cheese on a small plate. It made her stomach growl and she realized she hadn't had lunch and her breakfast of waffles that went into the toaster seemed a long time ago.

"I thought you might be hungry. My children always like grilled cheese and tomato soup on a winter day."

"Thank you," Ella smiled at her. It was very sweet of her.

"Sit down and eat before it gets cold."

Ella did as she said and found that the soup did warm her up. She dipped the grilled cheese into the soup, taking a bite of it, enjoying the taste. She hadn't realized how hungry she had been until she had finished both the soup and the sandwich.

"Thank you, that was delicious," she told Mrs. Calloway who was sitting at the table too. She had a mug as well, but Ella knew that there was tea in it, not hot chocolate.

"I am glad to hear that," she smiled, and then she became serious. "I worry about you all alone, Ella."

Ella winced as she took the bowl and plate to the sink, rinsing them both before putting them in the dishwasher. "I am fine though," she said as she shut the dishwasher door.

"Are you eating properly?"

"Yes," she answered as she sat down in her chair again. She was eating at least, even if not the healthiest food.

"And sleeping?"

"Yes," Ella responded, finishing the last few sips of the hot chocolate. She was used to these questions. Her sleeping was getting better. It was horrible at first and even though she couldn't sleep for long, but it seemed to be progress.

"It is just a big house to be alone in."

"Not too big," she answered. "And I will not be staying once I sort things out." She wasn't sure where she would go, but maybe it was time to set out on her own. It was a terrifying thought, but she couldn't live in the house and stay in limbo for the rest of her life, could she?

Mrs. Calloway nodded. "Just remember, if you need anything tell me."

Ella gave a nod though she wouldn't. The woman was older, a widow for the past four years. She had grown up children who also had children. One of those had a child as well. There had been a wedding after the birth of the child, which had not pleased Mrs. Calloway. She always said marriage first. However, she loved and doted on her grandson-in-law and her great grandson who was almost a year old.

Though Ella would often stay and talk, her thoughts kept going to the journals. She did want to hurry back to read them.

"I would love to stay, but I should go back. Finish going through boxes," she said. She intended to do that, but it might not be until after she had finished the journals. She already knew that as long as the key worked, she would continue.

"You should get out more with people your own age," Mrs. Calloway told her.

"I will. I will go back to college again too. I just think it best if I finish with everything here. Then I can find a job and a place to live. Maybe I can even go back to college in the fall," she said, getting to her feet again.

Mrs. Calloway nodded. "Your grandmother would be pleased."

"I hope so," Ella sighed as she got to her feet.

"I know so," Mrs. Calloway responded, standing as well to walk Ella to the door.

Ella pulled on her boots, and then paused when lacing the second one. Maybe Mrs. Calloway had known about Susan.

"Did my grandmother ever mention a woman named Susan Pevensie? That was her maiden name. Her married name was Susan Roberts. I found a box with some things of hers in it. The address I have for her is very old, but I wanted to send the box to her."

Mrs. Calloway thought about it for a moment. "She did mention a Susan before, though I never caught her last name. If it is the same girl, they were roommates and classmates in college. Girls didn't always go to college then. If I am not mistaken, Susan was from England. I know there had been mention of some sadness in her life. The death of some family members in some accident. I don't remember. I know she married an American. However, your grandmother didn't mention her in years. I expect they lost touch."

Ella nodded. This Susan was the same Susan and now she knew how Susan and her grandmother knew one another. They had been roommates, classmates and it would seem, friends.

"Does that help?"

"It might," she answers. "I will go to the library in a day or two and see if I can look her up. She might want her things back. If not, maybe her children then." It was too bad her grandmother's computer was never hooked up to the internet. She could find out a lot from that.

Mrs. Calloway nodded. "I am sure she would enjoy it."

Ella pulled on her hat. "Thank you again for the food. I will be back tomorrow."

"Take care, Ella. And be careful on the ice."

Ella assured her she would. She knew Mrs. Calloway had fallen on the ice, which resulted in the broken arm.

Hurrying back to the house, which was not as warm and as welcoming as Mrs. Calloway's, Ella pulled off her coat and tossed that aside, along with her hand. She pulled off her boots and then hurried upstairs. Now she knew a bit more about Susan and she was about to learn more in the next journal.


	6. Furthur Journal Exploration

**Chapter 5**

Though Ella knew she could have worked on more packing, as she took off her boots and her coat, she knew that wasn't going to happen. She knew a little more about Susan now. Not a lot, but it was something.

She hurried back up to her room, completely passing by her grandmother's room. She had work to do and she knew it. She couldn't help herself though.

Part of her wondered if these journals were just stories. Yet, Susan sounded so certain. So insistent. Perhaps she was crazy. That was always possible.

Yet, she sounded very rational and sane in the journals.

Ella turned on the lamp and then settled into the chair, getting comfortable under the blanket again. She reached for the next journal, unlocking it with the key still around her neck. That was easier than taking the necklace off. She just had to lift the journal toward her neck. She could smell the old paper, but it wasn't a bad smell.

She unlocked the journal and started to read.

There wasn't much new in it and she felt invasive reading about Susan's daily life. She sounded more grown up than she had, though she and her siblings had grown fifteen years, just to become young again.

She talked about their time with the Professor, who surprised them all. He had been to Narnia! The birth of Narnia in fact. Needless to say, when they were finally ready to come home, they promised to write him often, which they apparently did.

_It is time for us to go back to school. While I am used to boarding school, I know Lucy is nervous. This is her first year. I pointed out that she and I would be at the same school and that Peter and Edmund would not be too far from us._

Though Ella found Susan interesting, there were pages about her thoughts about the upcoming school term. She also sounded very adult. More than she had the year before when she had been living with the Professor. Before Narnia.

Ella was tempted to skip ahead in the journal, but didn't. Instead, she read each sentence and finally there was a mention of Narnia.

_I find it hard to believe. We had all hoped to return once more to Narnia and we have. It was the strangest thing. We were at the train station, ready to go to school. A year has passed and yet it seemed like so little time and a lot at the same time. Only a year for us, but for Narnia, it had been much longer, over one thousand years…_

Ella couldn't help but be drawn into the story. In fact, it did seem like a story. From the other journals, Ella had learned about talking beasts and the lands around Narnia. She had learned about archery contests and how Peter and Edmund fought those that would harm Narnia.

Narnia was no longer the same though. The rightful king had been forced to flee because his uncle would have killed him. He had stumbled across talking animals and dwarves. He had also been given Susan's horn, a gift from Father Christmas. He had used it when he needed it and that is what had pulled the Pevensie children back to Narnia. Cair Paravel was in ruins and many animals had returned to their foolish ways. Even worse, all the friends they had known had died. It had been upsetting to learn.

However, the Pevensie children, still young, had a lot to do. They had to help the Prince and though Aslan did not quickly appear, he did appear. Susan made a comment that Lucy claimed to keep seeing him, but that she didn't. It was an interesting thought and Ella wondered how a person could miss a large lion, especially after Peter and Edmund both saw him before she did. Later, Aslan had told her she had been "listening to her fears". Susan wrote that she understood what that meant, but Ella didn't. How did being afraid mean she couldn't see a big lion? She had never had trouble with that before.

She came to the next journal, unlocking it, that she was reading these quickly.

She shrugged to herself and read more of the story, which felt less personal now.

…_and we were informed that we would not return to Narnia. Peter and I were both very saddened to hear this. After all, Narnia seemed to be where we were meant to be. Edmund and Lucy will come back again. Peter and I are deemed too old, though I do not know why. Only a year has passed since last time. How could we be too old?_

_I know Aslan has his reasons, but it upsets me greatly to know we will never turn there. I will never see another Narnian sunrise or feel the water lap at my feet on one of the beaches. I will not have archery contests or have talks with the citizens of the woods or talking beasts. Oh, it is difficult to bear. I am not sure how I will._

It did not take Ella long to pull out the other journals. She unlocked them all at once so she wouldn't have to pause before she started the next one.

Night came and Ella, though tired and cold, didn't move from her place. She couldn't stop reading the journals.

She didn't write much about school, but Ella caught hints that Susan seemed in a hurry to grow up again. She sometimes talked about girls who seemed foolish to her. It appeared she was happy to have the chance to go to America with her parents. Peter was with the Professor, working on his studies. The younger Pevensies were forced to go stay with their aunt, uncle and cousin.

_America is so exciting. There is so much to do here and the women are very fashionable. I purchased a few things for myself as well as a few trinkets for Peter, Edmund and Lucy. I know Ed and Lu were very upset they couldn't come on this trip. Perhaps another time they will._

_Father and Mother have allowed me to go out and I have found that I greatly enjoy the music here. Though I have heard of swing dancing, I have never seen it like this. I have met several dashing young soldiers on leave, though I have heard the war will be over soon. _

_Wearing lipstick and wearing my hair differently, I feel much older. More like my true self, which is an adult._

_Perhaps Narnia was a magical land, but I know I will never return. America also seems magical and it seems I might be able to visit again. I am not too old to be here._

Though Ella knew this entry was written years ago, she was concerned. Susan seemed to not feel so close to Narnia. She didn't mention it much. Yet, just a little before that she could do nothing but talk about it.

Ella continued to read, even though her eyes hurt. She knew it had to be late, but she didn't want to stop reading. When she finished that journal, she picked up the next one, setting the completed journal off to the side.

Returning from America, Susan wrote about Narnia again. This time, to share that Lucy and Edmund had returned to help Caspian. The details of the journey were not as in depth as they could have been. The now King decided to go looking for his father's trusted advisors and had been joined by the two younger Pevensies and their cousin. Apparently his disposition had improved, but Ella found herself wanting more details about Narnia. Susan only wrote down basic information. Then she finished the account of the adventure with a short paragraph. _Peter was very interested in it all, asking more and more questions, but I didn't. Why ask about people I will never speak to again and a place I will never see again. Edmund and Lucy explained that they would not be returning. Perhaps that is all for the best. We can put away our thoughts of Narnia and continue with life here like we are supposed to._

Ella shook her head, feeling bad for Susan. She had never been to a place like Narnia, but she assumed if she did, she might have felt the same way as Susan.

Finishing that journal, Ella realized there were only three more. She opened the eighth journal and started to read it. However, as her eyes moved over words, their meanings became lost to her and sleep eventually overtook her.


	7. Finishing the Journals

**Chapter 6**

Ella wasn't sure what woke her, but whatever it was, it woke her up with a start. She gave a jump and then winced, her entire body stiff and sore from spending the night in the armchair. As comfortable as it was, it was not made for sleeping.

She noticed that light was coming through the window, which meant it was morning. She slowly moved her body, stretching her legs in front of her and lifting her arms over her head. Then, she started to shrug her shoulders and she winced again as something went pop.

Even as she did, she tried to think back to the dream she only partially remembered. There had been a cold, wintery land. A lamppost in the middle of a forest. She dreamt of a large ship and of battles. She dreamt of bows and arrows and swords. There was a lion in part of it as well as unicorns and other odd creatures, like fauns.

She shook her head, hissing in discomfort at how much her neck ached. She reached behind herself with one hand and started to rub at the offending muscles, feeling how tight they were. She really should have gone to bed.

As she did her best to get out the knot in her neck, she thought about her dreams. Though interesting, of course they didn't mean anything. They were images that came to her mind from the reading journals of Susan.

In the light of morning, Ella didn't know what she had been thinking. Another land? How was that possible? It was very real in the journals, but could it all have been a game?

She looked at the journal that was lying on her lap. She had fallen asleep reading it and there had been little mentioned about Narnia in it, except that she tried not to talk about it with her siblings. Instead, she talked about things that didn't interest Ella much. She wondered if she wanted to continue with the journals, then decided she did. She was almost done. There was the rest of this journal and two more to read. That was all.

Ella set the journal down on the box that contained the others before forcing herself out of the chair. She thought she had stretched enough, but apparently that wasn't the case. Her back was protesting, but she had a feeling that would be the case for the rest of the day. It always was if she fell asleep in an odd position.

Though she wanted to read the rest of the journals, she decided the first thing to do was get breakfast, take a shower and change her clothing. Her stomach growled and that helped her decide what to do first. Though a shower sounded nice, especially a warm one to help with her knotted muscles, food was more important.

She walked down the steps, avoiding the fourth step from the bottom like she normally did. She wasn't sure why she avoided the squeaky step. She never snuck in or out of the house, but it was something she had gotten used to doing. It made her sad to think about the fact that she would soon sell the house and she wouldn't be walking up and down the stairs anymore. What else could she do though? She certainly couldn't afford to keep it. Besides, her grandmother would want her to move on.

Walking into the kitchen, she started to look through the cupboards. She really did need to shopping soon. She was running low on a lot of essentials.

Not seeing anything for breakfast, she opened the freezer. "Aha," she whispered as she took out a package of frozen waffles. They just had to go into the toaster. She plugged it in and placed two of the ice cold waffles into the slots before pushing the handle down.

While those were being toasted, Ella poured herself a glass of orange juice and got out the syrup, noting how little was left. She would need to go get more syrup too. Waffles just were not any good without syrup.

Her waffles popped up and she carefully grabbed one, quickly dropping it on a plate before doing the same with the second waffle.

After eating the waffles, she went back upstairs and took a long, almost scalding shower. She felt some of the knots her in back, shoulders and neck loosen and gave a small sigh. Much better.

She let herself stay in the shower until the water became colder and she finally got out. She dried off and put on another pair of jeans, thick socks and a grey knit sweater.

Though she knew she had more work to do, sorting through her grandmother's things as well as packing her own things, she was drawn back to her room and she looked at the journals.

Her hand went to play with the locket and she opened it and turned it so she could see the faces of the four Pevenises again. Though she noticed how all of them looked, her eyes focused on Susan's. What could have happened? She knew a bit from the other items in the box, but there had to be something else. She had lost her family, yes. Yet, how did Narnia tie into everything? Something told her that the two things were connected, but she hadn't figured out how.

Settling back in her chair, she picked up the journal she had been reading the night before and started it again. There was nothing very noteworthy but Ella read the whole thing. About dances and parties, about her life.

Near the end, she caught sight of the word Narnia.

_Peter, Edmund and Lucy keep going on about Narnia. They talk to the Professor about it as well as to Eustace. I don't want to join them. Why can't they understand we have to move on? We are never going back so we much grow up and put away these childish fantasies of returning._

_When they mentioned it to me again, I almost laughed. I asked if they were still playing that silly game. I also said they had imaginations. I have to say, it was better than thinking about the fact of not returning. It does seem like a dream though. So much that it feels like it never happened or that it was something that happened to another girl at some other time._

_That is the difference though. I am not a girl anymore. I'm a woman. Just because my siblings are not able to grow up doesn't mean I will do the same. I've seen a whole new world out there and it is not hidden away in the back of wardrobe._

The entry continued with Susan writing about a party she was going to and the new dress she had bought, which was apparently the latest fashion.

Ella frowned and put that journal away, getting out the second to last journal. This journal started out the way the other one ended. Talking about a party. She mentioned having the house to herself to get ready since her parents were going to pick up Peter, Edmund, Lucy and a few others from the train station.

Ella felt her stomach clench, shivering, knowing what was going to happen.

She turned the next page and saw that the hand didn't look steady anymore.

_They are gone. How can they be gone? I can't breathe. It hurts so much…_

That was all on one page. Then, she looked at the opposite side and saw the date was a week later.

_I still cannot believe they are gone. Peter, Edmund, dear sweet Lucy, Mother, Father, Eustace, his friend Jill, the Professor and Aunt Polly. All of them. I have never felt so alone and so lost before._

_There was a funeral for Peter, Edmund, Lucy Mother and Father yesterday. The others will have different ones. The five coffins were more than I could truly handle. I felt ill and felt faint often. I wish I had been there. Then I wouldn't be here alone._

_Why am I left? Why me? What did I do wrong to have to deal with this alone? I have no one. Even my Aunt and Uncle will not speak to me. Oh, I wish I could hide in that wardrobe again with Peter, Edmund and Lucy. I wish we could play games again. Anything. Just to see them again._

_Finding Lucy the way I did…she almost looked happy. Oh my dear, sweet sister._

_I feel like my heart is breaking. It truly must be._

_The others always had a stronger faith than I did and I wonder what happens after death. I do hope there is something after. I can't imagine there never being a single trace left of any of them._

_I don't know what to do. What will I do? How can I move on? Why does there have to be so much pain?_

Ella wiped at her eyes, not realizing she had tears falling until her eyesight became blurred. "Oh, Susan…" she whispered. She had lost her grandmother and had almost never gotten past that. How could anyone get past losing so many people all at once?

She continued to read and a lot of the pages were filled with half thoughts and ramblings. She could only imagine the pain that Susan was going through. She finished the journal, feeling like her emotions were torn apart and that was just from reading them.

Though she had doubts about what the next journal held, she had to finish. She noticed there was a gap between the start of this journal and the last one. Almost a year.

_I have settled into school here in America and I have a very kind roommate named Elizabeth. She has been very nice and welcoming to me. In fact, she has already invited me to visit with her family during holidays. I told her perhaps. I have not been around families since the loss of mine and I am uncertain if I feel comfortable with the idea. I told her what happened, just the basic story and she is very understanding._

Ella read a bit more and saw that while Susan still had troubles with the death of her family, noted by the number of mentions of nightmares and Elizabeth comforting her, she was recovering.

There might be gaps between her writing in it, but she talked about school being difficult but never mentioned what she was studying.

Then there was mention of a certain man. David Roberts.

_I have met the most wonderful man. No, I am not speaking as I used to, a girl focused on dances and lipstick. I was walking back with a few others and he approached us and asked my name. It created quite a stir amongst all of us. I introduced myself and he told me his name. He has invited me out on a date. I asked why and he said I was strikingly beautiful and I must be smart to be going to school. The words sound so silly written down, but when he said them, I knew he meant them. So tomorrow night, David Roberts and I will be going on a date._

Ella recognized the name as that of Susan's husband from the wedding announcement. She could imagine Susan, a young woman being asked out by a man who happened to see her. She was pretty enough from what she could tell of the pictures.

_I had a wonderful time with David. He was kind, considerate, courteous and I was glad that he also seemed nervous like I was. He was a gentleman though and even escorted me back to the school entrance, which is as far as he was allowed to go. He asked for the pleasure of inviting me out again and I agreed. I am feeling something strange, something I never felt with any others. I also feel happier than I have in a long time._

The rest of the journal was filled with talking about school and David. Then Ella got to the last pain.

_I am not sure if the pain will ever truly be gone. I miss them daily and cry often. All I know is that I know have grown up. If Aslan was truly real and wonderful, I would not have had to endure so much alone and he would not have sent me away after we helped Caspian._

_David and I have spoken for the future and I think he will ask me to marry him. It is time to move on and I will be placing this and the other journals away. It is time to grow up._

Ella shut the last journal. She should have felt better about this, but she didn't. She had never had imagination to make up fill kingdoms and adventures and she didn't think Susan did either. She had written as much. How could she call it fake?

She sighed, wondering if there would ever be answers.

She reached into the box and pulled out one of the photo albums, looking at the photos and wondering about Susan and what had happened next in her life. She considered looking through the letters to her grandmother but that felt like too much at the moment.

After seeing pictures of the four happy children, she put the album back. She got to her feet and stretched again and looked outside. The sun was shining, which made it a good time to take Millie on a walk.


	8. An Ordinary Day Becomes Extraordinary

**Chapter 7**

"Ella, do you want to come in and warm up?" Mrs. Calloway asked as she opened the door for her. Millie was at her feet and the dog's tail started to wag when she saw who was at the door.

Ella shook her head. "If I get too comfortable, Millie and I might not ever go on our walk," she said. It was comfortable in Mrs. Calloway's home and if Ella was honest, it felt a lot more welcoming than what was at home. There were boxes to pack and items to sort, though she hadn't done much of that since she had found the journals.

"Alright, well I will have something ready for you when you and Millie return," she said, handing Ella the leash.

Ella nodded and fastened it to Millie's collar. "We won't be too long. I just figured we could go take the walk while the sun is still shining."

"That is an excellent idea," Mrs. Calloway said.

Ella gave a wave and stepped outside, shutting the door firmly behind her.

She readjusted her scarf and hat because though it was fairly warm for winter, especially with the sun shining, she still wanted to stay as comfortable as possible.

"Let's go, Millie," she said and started down the stairs, being careful for any ice that might have formed since the day before. Luckily, it hadn't snowed since the day before so many of the homes had already shoveled their sidewalks, making it easier for the girl and the dog.

Ella decided to walk the same way as before, walking past residential homes. In front of one house, she saw some kids making snowmen, or at least, that seemed to be how it started. The snow in the yard was being trampled as the kids started to throw snowballs at each other, six of them engaged in a snowball fight. Though she had never been a part of one of them, Ella couldn't help but smile a little. It was almost picturesque, including their red cheeks, smiles and a few items of clothing like a glove and a hat scattered around the yard.

Ella and Millie left the sounds of children behind as they turned another corner and entered the path of the woods. It became silent, just the slight creaking sound of the trees as they swayed in a gentle wind. To Ella, it was almost as if they were the only two things in the world. It was an unnerving thought, so she shook her head. It just seemed that way because most people didn't take walks in the woods during the winter.

She wondered briefly if that was how it felt for Susan and her siblings, when they came to Narnia and it was just winter. She supposed she might have been more shocked by finding a world in a wardrobe, instead of the wintery land they found. After all, who finds a world in a wardrobe?

Ella was pulled by her thoughts with something that felt like a sharp pinching feeling.

"Ow," she jumped and rubbed her side, wondering what it could have been. There wasn't a tree branch or something.

Then she felt it on her leg. "Ouch," she looked but didn't see anything that could be causing it. She knew she could tell more with her gloves off so she put the leash on the ground, keeping it in place with her foot so that Millie wouldn't run away while she took off her gloves. Just as she took off the second, she felt a pinch in her shoulder. What was going on?

Ella turned around, looking for the source of this, but there was nothing.

Just at that minute, the wind picked up. Millie barked and with a sharp pull, she managed to free her leash from Ella's foot and went bounding off.

"No, Millie!" she shouted and started to follow just as the wind picked up. She looked up to see if there were storm clouds, but the wind was blowing fallen snow around her, making it impossible to see.

She didn't see Millie either and ran in the direction she last saw the dog. She couldn't see where she was going as she felt another pinch and then she stumbled over a log and she threw out her arms to catch herself.

Expecting snow, Ella was surprised that she didn't feel anything cold. In fact, she felt grass and cool earth. Cool, but not frozen like it should have been. She then looked at her hands and saw that there was indeed grass. Green grass. What was going on?

She pushed herself off the ground to stand up, but what she saw made her sit down with a shock.

She was on a grassy hill. There were woods near her, but they looked to be older than the ones she had walked through, with tall trees, so large she wouldn't have been able to wrap her arms around them. Then there were the rolling hills on her other side, going far into the horizon where she saw something glittering in the distance. She strained her eyes and noticed that it was a river.

Ella noted that bright blue sky with light white fluffy clouds and without a trace of snow in sight.

She wondered briefly if she was dead. Though she didn't think heaven was like this. Besides, the areas where she had felt the pinches still hurt. That didn't make sense then. Yet, what was she doing here? Where was she? She didn't know of any place like this. It was pretty but certainly not home.

"Where am I?" she muttered as she got to her feet, brushing herself off. She tugged off her hat, finding it too warm with it on. She also started to unwrap the scarf she was wearing, when she heard a voice.

"Welcome, Daughter of Eve."

Ella turned and gave a gasp, stumbling back when she saw something that hadn't been there a moment before. The largest lion that she had ever seen.

It didn't move toward her, but just looked at her. After a moment, she felt herself relax a little. Afterall, lionesses were the ones that hunted, right? Besides, wouldn't it have attacked by now if it was going to?

Then she looked closer at the lion. He didn't seem very scary, even though he was large.

Something told her that it was the lion who had spoken, yet she was having trouble thinking, let alone speaking.

"I see you are quite stunned."

It was the lion who had spoken. Ella just stared and nodded in response. Lions didn't speak. Animals didn't speak.

"Are you truly that surprised? You wear a locket that shows others whose story you might know."

Though stunned by the lion, Ella felt around her neck, fingers moving down the chain to the locket. Susan's locket. Inside it were the photos of the Pevensie children. All of a sudden, Ella knew what had happened. She had her doubts through the whole story she had read, yet here she was, talking to a lion. Again, she gave a nod in response to his statement.

He seemed to give her a smile, if lions could and Ella was finally able to speak, but only said one thing. "Aslan?"

He gave a nod. "Welcome, daughter of Eve. Welcome Ella."


	9. Meeting Familiar Strangers

**Chapter 8**

Ella just stared at the lion, not able to respond. Instead, she sat down on the ground. It was almost like a fall that made her back hurt, which shook her from her thoughts. "If I'm dead…that wouldn't have hurt," she muttered, rubbing her back. She thought she might be dead. Maybe she had hit her head on the ground. Though maybe she was just unconscious, but she didn't think unconscious people could feel pain, could they?

She looked at the lion, which now looked bigger now that she was on the ground. "Okay, am I going crazy?" she asked. That was her next choice as to what might be going on. It did make some sense, though she had never had any idea she might be going crazy. Not like this.

"No," the lion responded, coming closer.

"Am I asleep? Because I still hurt where I felt the pinches and I shouldn't be feeling things in a dream."

"Do you truly believe this is a dream?" Aslan asked.

"I don't know," Ella answered. Logically, she had to be dreaming or having a realistic daydream. Or something like that. Yet, nothing made sense.

"Search deep, past your fears and you will find your answer," Aslan told her.

Ella bit her lip and tried to do that. She tried to push aside her logic and something came back to her memory. Something from the journals. Susan wrote about the pinching feeling that she and her siblings had felt when they were pulled back into Narnia when Prince Caspian blew Susan's horn. Could it have been like the pinching she felt?

Then of course, she saw herself in a new place, some place completely different. No snow, a different landscape and warmer. In fact, warm enough that she decided she needed to take off some of the layers. She pulled off her hand and shoved it into her jacket pocket.

"Narnia?" she asked.

The lion nodded once more.

"That's not possible though," she insisted.

"And why is that?" the lion asked.

"Because…I…it's…" Ella stammered. "How can this be real?"

"You have read the journals, haven't you?"

Ella didn't even have to ask which journals he meant. "Yes. I know I shouldn't have but…" she shrugged a little. "Do you know what happened to Susan?"

"Her story has not yet reached its conclusion. Neither has yours."

Ella thought this over, thoughtful for a minute. She looked at her fingers for a moment, lining up her fingertips together, before letting them slide together, her hands almost looking like she was praying.

"Does that mean-" she started to ask but when she looked up, she saw no sign of the lion.

Curious, she got to her feet and looked around the area. "Hello?" she called. "Aslan?" There was no answer and she had many other questions. What was she doing there? What had happened to Millie? And how would she get back?

There was no answer and she slowly walked to where the lion had stood but she saw no paw prints or any other sign she was there. She wondered if she had imagined him. Was that possible?

Her fingers went to rub her temples feeling a headache forming, though there was no surprise. She was confused and trying to make sense of it all would give anyone a headache.

She cast one last look at her surroundings then sighed. She supposed there was nothing else she could do but to explore. Maybe she would meet someone else who could help her get home. She remembered that Susan had mentioned how she had returned both times. Would she need to step through a magical doorway or would she stumble out of wardrobe? It didn't help that she didn't know how she got there. The magic horn perhaps, but that was impossible. Wasn't it?

Ella started to walk and she tugged off her jacket, finding it too hot to wear it. She didn't want to discard it though and tied the sleeves of it around her waist. She knew that most people wouldn't do that with their clothing anymore but it kept her hands free. She wished she could take off her boots since they felt heavy, bulky and hot, but she left them on. She had no idea what to expect and she didn't want to step on something that might be painful.

Though nervous, she tried to enjoy the scenery around her. It was beautiful, flowers blooming and she noticed that she was moving closer to the river. She tried to remember everything she read in Susan's journals, but couldn't. How was she supposed to remember the names for rivers that she never expected to see? Even if she had thought it, she still had no idea where she currently was standing.

Briefly, she thought about Cair Paravel, the castle where Susan had ruled with her brothers and sister. She knew it had been ruins when they had returned to help Caspian, but could there be another castle somewhere?

She finally reached the river and Ella realized she was thirsty. She didn't have a watch so she didn't know how long she had been gone. Though when Susan and the others had come to Narnia, no time had passed at home so maybe no one would notice she was gone. If Susan's journal was real and she was starting to believe it was.

Though she had learned about boiling water for drinking, she had no matches and decided to take a risk. She knelt beside the river and cupped her hands, dripping them into the cool stream. She looked at the water, and then brought her hands to her lips, sipping the water. It was cool, refreshing and even tasted good, though if asked, she wouldn't have been able to explain why. She cupped more water in her hands, taking another drink.

Feeling better, she wiped her hands off on her jeans as she straightened her back, standing up. She looked around, trying to decide what to do, thinking maybe she should follow the river, though she wasn't sure which way, when she heard a sound.

It sounded like something thudding against the ground. More than one thing. Multiple things. Getting louder and coming closer. They were a rhythmic sound and she turned to see what it was.

She saw figures approaching and realized there were people on horseback, their hooves making the sound she heard. They had been cantering, but they slowed to a trot, then a walk as they approached. Just a few feet from her, the horses stopped.

There were three figures on three different horses. Two of them were men. One had blonde hair and blue eyes and Ella guessed him to be in his late twenties, perhaps thirty. The other man seemed to be a few years younger, more in his mid-twenties, Ella guessed. He looked very different with dark, almost black hair and brown eyes. Both were wearing clothes she had never seen people wear before, except in movies or tv shows, looking almost like from the medieval times.

With them was a young woman, a little younger than the dark haired man. She was wearing a long dress, yet that didn't seem to hinder her ability to ride. Her light brown hair was pulled back and flowers were twisted in it.

Ella also noticed that the horses were not wearing saddles and she didn't see any sign of reins or even a halter on any of them.

As she was studying them, they seemed to be studying her and she knew she probably looked quite a sight. She was certain her hair was probably messy after being in the hat. She was wearing a coat tied around her waist with winter objects stuffed into the pockets. She was also wearing jeans and very heavy winter boots.

"Hello," she greeted them, hoping they could help her. Looking at them a second time, she realized there was something familiar about them. As if she had met them before, but she had a feeling she would have remembered meeting people like this.

"Good afternoon. What brings you to our fair land? You do not seem to be from here," the light haired man spoke. He spoke with an English accent; at least, Ella thought it was English.

"I am not," she admitted. "I wish I could explain it but I just appeared here. It's really confusing. You might think I am crazy too," she admitted.

"Perhaps not," said the dark haired man.

"Well, first I should ask, am I really in Narnia?"

"You are," said the dark haired man.

Ella just nodded in response. "That is what he said too."

"Who is he?" the first man questioned, looking tense.

"Aslan."

"You met Aslan?" the girl asked. "Wasn't he magnificent? Is he still here?"

Ella shook her head. "He disappeared. I am not really sure why I am here," she admitted, then paused.

She looked at the three people in front of her and tried to imagine them younger. She could imagine them younger and her hand brushed over the locket she wore.

"Where did you get that?" the girl asked, getting off her horse in one quick motion. She approached Ella, eyes flickering between Ella's eyes and the locket.

"I found it. I was going through some things. Things a friend asked my grandmother to hold and my grandmother passed away." She looked at the other woman and then hesitantly asked. "Are you Lucy Pevenise?"

The girl looked a bit surprised but nodded. "I am."

"Then that makes you Peter and Edmund," she said, looking at the men who nodded.

"How do you know us?" Peter asked, also dismounting. Edmund did the same.

She motioned to the locket and opened it to show the photo there. "I found a box of things that belonged to Susan. Things that she asked my grandmother to hold onto. There were even journals there. I wasn't going to read them but then I did. I just meant to find some idea of where I might find her and I read about Narnia and her life…"

"Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia," Peter said.

"I don't know about that," Ella protested. "She just might have lost the way. I know losing the three of you and…" she trailed off. "Wait, you're dead. Does that mean I'm dead?" She felt panic rise up and she forced herself to take deep breaths.

"I don't think so," Lucy said kindly. "You see, we need help so we blew Susan's horn." She held up a beautiful carved ivory horn that seemed to look like a lion. "It was said that help would always come whenever it was blown. We blew it and here you are. Though, we weren't expecting you," she admitted.

"You were looking for Susan, weren't you?" Ella guessed.

Lucy nodded.

"I'm sorry, I haven't spoken to her. I don't even know if she is alive. I was going to check…though Aslan said her story wasn't finished yet and neither was mine. If I am still alive, maybe that means she is too."

"Maybe we should continue this back at the castle," Edmund spoke up. "We're exposed here."

"I agree," said another male voice and Ella's mouth dropped open.

"Did your horse just talk?"

"Of course," Lucy said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Edmund nodded and patted the horse's neck. "Phillip."

"And what is your name?" Peter asked.

Ella realized she knew who they were but she had never introduced herself. "Ella," she introduced.

"Would you like to come back with us?" Peter ventured. "You could tell us your story in greater detail there. Besides, I am sure the others will want to hear it as well."

"Okay," Ella answered. She didn't really know these people, but she felt she did due to the journals and photos. She also didn't have any other ideas.

"You can get on my horse with me," Lucy offered. "Belle doesn't mind, do you?"

"Not at all," the horse replied.

Ella shook her head slightly. She had a feeling this was something that would take a lot of getting used to. She thought back to the journals and wondered what else she might see.

"I've never been on a horse," she told them.

"That's alright," Lucy said.

"We'll help," Edmund said and he cupped his hands together next to Belle.

"Just like this," Lucy said, stepping into Edmund's hands with one foot. He lifted his arms and she easily straddled on the back of the horse. "See?"

"Your turn," Edmund said and Ella approached, nervous.

Edmund put his hands together again and Lucy held out her hand. Ella grabbed the other girl's arm, stepping into Edmund's hands like Lucy had done.

He lifted her easily and though she doubted she was as graceful as Lucy, she managed to put her leg over the horse and found herself sitting right behind Lucy.

"See? It is nice to have helpful brothers," she smiled.

Ella managed a small smile and then watched the other two get on their horses without trouble.

"Now, just hold on, your arms around my waist," Lucy told her. "You don't have to worry about where we are going, the horses are very smart, they are talking horses after all and they will take us home."

"Ready?" Peter asked them all.

"Ready," came five answers, one from Edmund, one from Lucy and the other three from the horses.

He glanced at Ella who hadn't said anything and she gave a small smile and a nod. "Ready," she said, hoping that she was and wouldn't fall off the horse. No matter how smart the horse was, that didn't mean she had skill as a rider.

Peter nodded and the horses took off, racing back to wherever their destination was and Ella just held on, wondering what exactly she was doing here and what was going to happen next.


	10. Some Answers and More Questions

**Chapter 9**

The ride was not an easy one and though the others seemed to know how to ride horses, Ella was struggling. She kept a firm hold on Lucy though and managed not to fall off. She supposed with practice, she might actually like riding horses, though she didn't know about talking ones. It felt wrong, in a way.

Ella tried to focus on everything she saw, but she wasn't good at picking out certain things. So many things were the same. It was beautiful, the trees, the river and blue sky. A few times, Ella thought she saw something moving in the woods, but she just blinked and then there was nothing. She figured it was just her imagination.

The horses galloped up a hill and Ella saw a tall hill. There was no way that the horses could handle it, or so she thought.

Then the horses ran up the sharp hill without any sort of problem and slowed, then stopped. There were beautiful, golden gates there, which were open. Ella noted a green wall running on either side and she saw branches on the other side so she assumed it might be a garden.

Edmund and Peter dismounted with ease and their horses said goodbye before trotting through the gate.

"You will have to dismount first," Lucy told Ella.

Even though she had watched the others, her dismount was clumsy. She slipped one leg down the side of the horse and tried to throw her other leg around to land on her feet. She got tangled though and stumbled, falling instead of landing gracefully.

"Are you alright?" Lucy asked, dismounting in one fluid motion.

"Yeah," Ella answered as she got to her feet again. "It seems I am having trouble staying on my feet today."

The horse sounded like it laughed and Lucy shook her head. "You shouldn't laugh at people. Some people don't know how to ride."

The horse apologized, sounding like she meant it. Ella forgave the horse because what else could she do? This was a talking horse!

She watched as the horse trotted inside the gates.

"Come on," Lucy motioned for Ella to follow. Ella took two steps forward, and then couldn't move any closer.

Frowning, she lifted her foot and tried to step forward, but couldn't. She strained and felt as if something was pulling her backward. She strained forward and the next thing she knew, her feet slipped from under her and she fell onto her back.

She lay like that for a moment, looking up at the sky. "Really?" she asked anyone who would listen. She sat up and noticed the other three weren't having the same trouble.

"What is it?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know," Ella answered. "I can't seem to move any closer."

Lucy turned to her brothers. Edmund gave a bit of a shrug, but Peter was looking thoughtful.

"What happened before you ended up here?"

"Does that matter?" Ella asked.

"Of course," he answers. "What were you doing and where were you right before you arrived here."

"I was walking my neighbor's dog, Millie." Ella paused. "I hope she is okay. Millie, I mean. The neighbor too, but I was walking Millie in this wooded area. It was snowing, it is winter there. Then I felt pinches. The wind picked up and I lost a hold of the leash, which is why Millie isn't here, though I am not sure if she would have ended up here or not. Anyway, I tripped on a root of a tree, I think and then when I landed, I was here."

Ella realized she hadn't spoken so much since she got to this place. Though, she was just recounting what led her to this moment.

"And then?" Peter asked.

"I met Aslan."

Peter nodded again then paused. "Wait, he said your story isn't done yet, correct? The same with Susan's?"

Ella nodded. "Yes."

"What is it, Peter?" Lucy asked.

"It all makes sense," Peter told Lucy then turned to Ella. "You are still alive. That is why you can't enter. Only those who have died may be here."

Ella paused and looked at the three people in front of her. Though she knew that the siblings had died in a railway accident, it hadn't really stuck her until he said it.

"And you're all dead…" she said.

Peter nodded. "Only those departed can enter the garden here. See Aslan for how he truly is."

"Truly is?" Ella asked. What else was he but a lion?

"One day, you will see," Lucy smiled at her.

"So it seems Ella will have to stay here. Which isn't too bad. There is the other Cair Paravel. And a few other places," Peter said.

"Should we really let her be that far?" Edmund asked.

"Well, we wouldn't let her be totally alone," Peter said.

"Then who would stay with her?"

Ella cleared her throat loudly. "She is still standing here and can hear you both. She can also speak for herself."

At least Edmund was willing to look a little sorry.

"You don't know this land or what's happened," Peter pointed out.

"I would if you would just tell me," Ella answered.

Peter sighed. "Very well. Narnia is in trouble. We needed help and blew the whistle, hoping we might call Susan here."

"But you got me instead," Ella sighed.

Peter nodded.

"Maybe I can still help though," she responded. "I mean…you four came through a wardrobe as kids and became Kings and Queens."

"Do you know how to handle a sword or a bow and arrows?" Peter asked her.

"And why would I learn something like that?" she questioned. "I know you have all been here awhile, but not a lot of people use those in the twenty first century."

"Because that's what we use here," Peter responded.

"You two, stop bickering," Edmund spoke up. "Ella, we need Susan because we need all the friends of Narnia here to defeat the evil."

"What evil? If this is a place of the dead, the garden at least, why not just shut the gates?" Ella asked, motioning to them.

"This place should never be touched by evil," Peter sighed and Ella realized he looked tired.

"There was a door, one that kept is out of the remains of old Narnia when it fell apart," Lucy explained. "There was a gold key that locked the door after Narnia became no more."

Ella nodded, not really understanding, but she supposed it made about as much sense as anything else.

"While we have no need to leave the garden, sometimes we do. Some enjoy being outside of the garden, not yet ready to reach here."

"You mean like me?" Ella asked, surprised.

Lucy shook her head. "No. There were others who didn't know Narnia well. I won't give his name because he does feel terrible about it, but he heard voices. Ones he knew on the other side of the door. He thought maybe people had been left so he got the key and unlocked the door. Now, it can't be closed and there are some very bad things roaming this land."

Ella quickly looked around, but she didn't see anything. "Bad things like what?"

Peter sighed. "Tash. Others that follow Tash and others trapped in the Shadowlands. The worst part is that some of ours have gone missing."

"Missing?" Ella frowned.

Peter nodded, looking solemn. "When we were told what happened, we were also told some of the talking animals stood guard. We hurried there and though we can move fast, they were not there and the door was open."

"Doors can be opened and closed," Ella pointed out. "You said, it couldn't be, but why not?"

"Magic," Lucy answered. "Bad magic."

Ella might have been skeptical, if not for the fact that she had stumbled into a magical land where animals talked and they all seemed to be ruled by a talking lion that seemed able to disappear into thin air.

"And somehow that is why I am here? Why do you think Susan can do anything?"

"There is an empty throne in Cair Paravel," Edmund responded.

"And we miss our sister," Lucy said. "That is the only downside. Even though we can see our parents whenever we want, it isn't the same."

"Maybe she just isn't in Narnia," Ella offered. She had no idea if Susan was even alive.

"If she wasn't here, she would at least me in real England with our parents."

"Real England?" Ella asked, finding this confusing.

Peter sighed. "It is complicated to explain. Inside the garden, things get bigger and we can visit with our family in England and then be back in Narnia without any trouble at all."

"So basically…like heaven?" Ella ventured. The gates seemed fitting for that idea, but nothing else made sense. She was more confused than ever and even though questions were answered, they led to more.

"Most here call it real Narnia."

They all turned and there was Aslan again. The three Pevensies got down on one knee in front of him. Ella paused, wondering if she should, but instead, she gave a small nod of her head. "Aslan."

"Yes, daughter of Eve," he responded.

The others stood at this and then Lucy hugged the large lion, who chuckled in response, tilting his head to her. "I didn't know if we'd see you like this again," she said.

"I am always the same. I just felt this might be less frightening to our guest," he said, motioning for Ella.

"You mean you can be more frightening?"

"Aslan of the books was a lion. You are seeing a lion," he responded.

Ella opened her mouth to say that it didn't make sense, yet at the same time, it did. Was she going crazy? Maybe she had lost her mind somehow, though she wondered if crazy people doubted their sanity.

"Aslan, we believed Susan would be called here if we blew the horn," Peter said.

"I told her to blow it only in an hour of need and help would arrive. It did," he motioned to Ella.

"How can I help?" she asked. "I don't know anything about this land. Or Susan. Just the journals. I can't even go into the garden," she motioned to the open gates.

"Child, do not let frustration take over you. You will get all the answers you are seeking, but when the time is right. You are correct, you do not know about this land. You know enough about our lost queen though. You have read her thoughts." Ella had to look away at this disapproving tone in his voice. "The lost queen is needed," he continued. "You must experience this land first though. To remind her of the truth."

"The truth?" Ella asked.

"This is not a place of fantasy she created with her siblings. It as real as any other place. She will need your help for that. So she will be able to hear the horn once more."

"I didn't hear it," Ella admitted. "I mean…it was just such a muddle getting here."

"Not everything is heard with your ears, dear one," he said.

"Then how else would you hear?" Ella asked.

Aslan looked at her for a moment. "Come closer."

Ella wondered if she had said or done something wrong, but walked closer to the lion. He seemed kind, but he was still a large lion.

"Are you afraid?" he asked her.

"A little."

"Of what?"

Ella answered before she had a chance to think. "Of being alone all the same. Of being nothing. Of you hurting me."

"I will never hurt you," he said. He took another step closer and gently breathed on her face.

It was an odd sensation that Ella was surprised about. She expected to smell remains of whatever dinner he had eaten, but she smelled flowers and felt a few muscles relax as she felt a sort of peace come over her.

"I will see you again. Just remember, to listen with more than your ears."

Without another word, he turned to leave.

"Aslan, will we see you again soon?" Lucy asked.

He seemed to smile at her and nodded before walking away. His steps seemed to carry him as fast as if he was running, yet Ella could see with her own eyes that he was walking at a leisurely pace. He ended a wooded area and disappeared from sight.


	11. Traveling to Cair Paravel

**Chapter 10**

**AN: I apologize for how long this chapter took. I won't go into the details because that would take its own chapter. However, here is the next chapter. I won't let so long pass between updates again.**

"He does that a lot, doesn't he?" Ella asked.

Lucy nodded. "He does. He isn't a tame lion after all." She smiled at a little when she said and though Ella thought about asking about it, but decided against it, especially because at that moment, more people stepped out of the garden. None of them were people Ella recognized from the photos. She felt a little embarrassed and confused.

"Where is Susan?" one of the girls asked.

"This is Ella. She is the one who came when we blew the horn."

Ella felt their eyes on her. It was a bit unnerving, but she tried not to look as uncomfortable as she felt.

"Let me make introductions. Everyone, this is Ella. Ella, this is Eustace, our cousin," a young man nodded to her. "Then our dear friend, Jill." The girl smiled at her, putting Ella a bit more at ease. "Then of course Digory and Polly," he motioned to two others, then laughed. "It still feels odd to call you that."

"You see, Digory and Polly were older in our world, but younger here. Digory was actually a Professor who took us in during the blitz."

"The one that had the wardrobe?" Ella asked.

"The very same," he smiled. "I will have to tell you about how that wardrobe came to be."

"There will be time for that," Peter answered. "First we have to get Ella settled. She isn't like us so she will have to remain outside the garden."

"And not alone either," Lucy said. "I'll stay."

"We all will," Peter answered.

Ella just nodded, not knowing what else to say. She knew almost nothing about this world.

"Cair Paravel?" Jill asked.

Peter nodded. "It is a fitting place and fairly protected. We will probably need to keep watch though," he added.

Edmund and Eustace nodded solemnly.

"Some of the animals would be willing to help, I am sure," Digory said. "They would be able to tell the presence of something or someone before we did."

"That's a good point," Peter agreed.

"What exactly are we supposed to be worried about?" Ella asked. They all turned to her, so she continued. "I know you mentioned someone named Tash, but what else is out there?"

"Shadowlanders," Lucy whispered. "They're horrible. Beasts and people that never should have been allowed in. They want to destroy everything good. They can't get into the garden, but if they take over this entire place, not even that will be completely safe.

"People and animals have gone missing," Peter added. "We still don't know where they are or what has happened to them."

"What about the door?" Ella asked.

"What about it?" asked Jill.

"Well...if they came through the door, doesn't it mean some might leave through it?"

"No one would willingly go to that dark, dead world."

"Sometimes, no matter how strong or smart a person is, they can't fight against a larger foe," Ella responded. She could think of a lot of times that people had won against bigger odds, but only because movies were always made about the underdog winning. No one wanted to show what happened when the underdog lost. "What if they did get into the garden?"

Lucy wrapped her arms around herself, as if cold. "They could get to all the other real places. Real England…that's where our parents are."

"What do you mean by real? You say this is all real, but…to me it isn't," Ella protested.

"It is real though. You just haven't learned about it yet."

"And how is England connected to here?"

"All lands are connected here."

Ella thought about this for a moment until something came to her. "Does that mean you can see people who have died in America?"

"We could," Edmund nodded.

Ella looked at the gates, longingly. "I wish I could go in there and see my grandmother."

"You can't though," Lucy reminded her. "Maybe we could see about getting a message to her though. It will just take awhile since none of us know her. Sometimes that makes it harder to find people, but it isn't impossible."

Ella nodded. "Thank you," she said. She wanted to say more, but the thought of her grandmother so close, yet far away was something she was having trouble with. She wanted to see her and talk to her, but she supposed a message would be alright. It was better than nothing.

"We should get going, before night starts to fall here," Peter frowned.

The others nodded and started to walk. It was then that Ella noticed they all had weapons on them. She looked at her jeans, her heavy boots and sweater, the coat still wrapped around her.

"We can get you some clothes there too," Lucy offered.

"You sure there will be some?" Ella asked as they walked down the hill. It was steep, but Ella had no trouble

She nodded. "I can't imagine why there wouldn't."

Ella looked at what Lucy, Jill and Polly wore. "Let me guess, I will be wearing a dress too?"

"You'd look silly in boy's clothing," Lucy laughed. Glancing at what the young men wore, Ella had to agree.

"I just don't often wear dresses. And I think I would probably step on the hem or something."

"Don't worry. It might seem a little strange, but Narnian clothes are better than any other clothing. They are comfortable," Lucy told her. "Not only that, they keep you cool or warm if you need it. Also, I doubt you want to wear those the rest of the time you're here." She pointed to Ella's boots.

"They are heavy," she admitted.

"You could go barefoot," Lucy suggested.

"Usually I would say that is alright, but there are a lot of uncertainties out here now," Peter spoke up.

Though Digory and Polly were older, supposedly, it was clear that Peter was their leader. High king if Ella remembered correctly. She knew she had just read the journals, but it also seemed like such a long time ago. She also felt like she knew all these people from the journals, especially Lucy.

"So are things different now? I imagine so, dressed like that," Lucy said, motioning to Ella's clothing. "Or is it just America?"

"What do you mean?"

"Girls don't often wear pants, do they?"

Ella laughed. "Most of the ones that I know do wear them. Skirts are for work or special occasions. Besides, where I was, it was cold and I wouldn't want to wear a skirt there. I would have frozen." She paused at this. "I keep thinking maybe I have frozen and I have made this entire thing up in my head."

"You haven't," Lucy assured her with a smile.

Ella offered a small one back as they continued to walk.

The land was a beautiful one and Ella kept looking around. Lucy didn't say much and though Peter was talking to Edmund quietly, she couldn't hear what they were saying.

Ella wasn't certain how far they walked, but her feet were getting sore, though she didn't complain about it. The others didn't seem at all bothered by it so she assumed it probably was from the boots. She decided what she would do when she got home was to buy a better pair of boots, lighter ones. If she ever got home. Would she? Though why not? The others had always returned. Until they died, yet apparently she wasn't dead yet.

She was starting to get a headache from her thoughts running through her head, a continuous loop. She wondered if Aslan would reappear and explain things to her again. She was just about to ask Lucy that, when Lucy spoke up.

"And there is Cair Paravel."

Ella looked and gasped. She thought she had been looking at a mountain when they had been approaching, but now she could see it was a castle. No, more than a castle. Not even castles looked that large. Of course, she had never seen one to compare it to.

"It is much more breath taking from the water," Lucy said.

"I think this is quite breath taking as it is," Ella said as they continued to walk closer.

"Oh and you should see everything you can see from the highest point," Lucy smiled as they walked closer.

Cair Paravel was tall, standing out from the rest of the land on a peninsula.

"It's not like the garden's, Lu," Peter reminded her.

"Wait, there are two and one is in a garden?" She didn't even imagine much could fit there.

"It's like an onion, yet it works the other way. The further you walk into the garden, the bigger it gets," Lucy explained.

Ella didn't feel that made any sense, but just nodded. She had dealt with a lot and was looking forward to taking off her boots and getting something to eat.

As they approached, though exhausted and hungry, Ella felt a small sense of excitement. She had read about Cair Paravel in Susan's journals. It seemed amazing that she was actually seeing it with her own eyes. The journals didn't do it justice.

"I…I thought that it was destroyed though," Ella spoke up.

"It was rebuilt," Peter answered.

Ella nodded, wondering if it looked the same as the one that Susan wrote about.

Though Ella knew she had been brought here due to a threat, she couldn't help smiling when Lucy spoke again. "I'll race you all to the entrance."

With that, she pulled her skirt up a little and started to run. Jill took off after her and after a brief pause, Eustace followed after them. The others laughed, not running after them, but increased their pace.

Though there was a danger, Ella could see how someone could feel at home with these people and this place. She was starting to understand why people might want to stay here. "Susan…" she whispered quietly. "How could you turn your back on all of this?"


	12. Arrival and Changing Attire

**Chapter 11**

Entering Cair Paravel was not a loud affair. In fact, as the group neared, they all became even quieter than usual. Even Lucy was solemn.

"We haven't been back here since…" she murmured to Ella. She didn't have to finish that thought. Ella knew what she had been about to say. They hadn't been back since they had entered the garden. Why would they have to?

They paused outside the large doors, before Peter, Edmund, Eustace and Diggory opened them. The doors barely made a sound as they were pushed inward. Then, after the doors were opened, they stood there. It was so silent, Ella was sure everyone could hear her heartbeat, which sounded loud.

Peter and Edmund shared a glance and started forward. Lucy followed next and Ella walked with her. The others were nice, but she felt closer to Lucy, though she wasn't sure why. Perhaps because of what she had read in the journals. Or perhaps because Lucy just seemed to be the sort of person that others almost had to like.

Ella could hear her own footsteps as their feet touched the smooth floor. They sounded heavier, though she knew it was due to the fact she was wearing boots. She almost hoped to never wear them again after this. She really wanted to take them off. Even as she thought it, she looked at the beautiful large room they had entered. It was still decorated as if someone lived there, with tapestries on the walls, and it didn't look broken down like ruins she saw in various photos.

"Are you hungry?" Polly asked.

Ella turned to face her and she realized Polly was talking just to her. She hadn't thought so, but her stomach rumbled and she blushed, embarrassed. "I am." She glanced at the others, but they didn't say anything.

"We don't need to eat," Jill explained. "We can if we'd like though."

"I don't want to be the only one eating," Ella admitted. That would feel awkward.

"I wouldn't mind a little something to eat," Eustace spoke up.

"You never mind it," Jill teased him with a smile.

"At least I am not the one who ate all those sweets that one time…" he said.

"They were wonderful," Jill protested.

"She has a point," Edmund spoke up. "They were good. I know I wouldn't mind having some food, as long as there are more than just apples."

Ella remembered what she had read in the journals, about the Pevensies eating only apples when they first arrived at the ruins to help Caspian.

"While you all figure out food, I am going to take Ella to get into some other clothes," Lucy spoke up.

"Good idea, Lu," Peter nodded, turning back to the quiet conversation he was having with Diggory.

Lucy motioned for Ella to follow and she did. However, she took her time, admiring the beauty of Cair Paravel. Though she had read about it in Susan's journals, it was even more impressive in person. She had imagined a drafty castle, but it clearly wasn't. Even the pillars seemed to gleam as they walked past them. There were also beautiful stained glass windows that led in the light

Lucy led Ella up a few flights of stairs. She smiled whenever Ella paused to glance at something. "I used to do the same thing," she admitted.

"It is just so beautiful. Even more than Susan described."

Lucy nodded though Ella noticed her smile faded slightly. She had a feeling that Lucy had hoped to find her sister answering the call of the horn. It was almost obvious from how Lucy was gently touching the beautifully carved lion horn that was tied to the belt of her waist.

"I'm sorry I'm not her," Ella responded.

"There has to be a reason you are here," Lucy remarked.

Ella knew that much was true. She just wondered if whatever she did would be able to fix the troubles they were having.

They were silent as Lucy led her down another hall and into a beautiful room. It seemed to be a sitting room, though Ella had never seen one. It had soft, plush furniture and a fireplace. Logs were already set there, as if just waiting for someone to light them.

There appeared to be some beautiful lace cover on one of the small tables. There was another round stained glass window above their heads, bathing the room in multiple colors. It was a welcoming room.

Lucy motioned for Ella to follow her through a half open door and she was amazed to see the large room there. It was a bedroom, she could tell that much immediately. The bed was large, a queen or king size, she was sure of it. It had dark wood columns at all four corners and a large, flowing cloth that seemed to come down from the ceiling and attached to each column. The bedspread was a light blue, as was the canopy.

There was an open window and there were thin curtains that Ella doubted kept out much light, though they might offer privacy. There was a small balcony there. There was a large wardrobe, bigger than the two girls combined. There was also a chest at the foot of the bed. Against another wall was a large desk and something else that looked like a lounge or a daybed was near it. There were paintings on the walls too and Ella recognized the young Pevensies in one of them, all dressed in their finest clothing.

"This is my room."

Ella turned to Lucy, who had spoken, though she hadn't needed to. This certainly seemed like a room Lucy would like.

"It's amazing," Ella replied.

Lucy smiled a little then went to the wardrobe, pulling out a few dresses. "Some of these might fit you."

Ella compared herself to Lucy. Maybe, but they seemed to not exactly be the same size. However, if talking lions were real, why couldn't clothes just fit well.

Lucy handed a beautiful wine colored gown to her. Ella was thankful to pull off the heavy boots and toss the coat over the bed. She realized there was nowhere to change in private, like a bathroom.

"There is a changing screen," Lucy spoke up, motioning a few pieces of wood that were attached together, bent like an accordion. It was taller than Ella and she smiled gratefully before going there. She knew some didn't mind changing in front of others, but Ella was not one of those. Perhaps if she was closer to her sister she would have been. Or if she had close friends.

She pulled on the soft, satin dress on and then frowned. "Lucy, I don't think this will work."

She stepped out and Lucy tried to hide a laugh. "Okay, that is a bit big on you."

"A bit?" Ella asked. Though the sleeves were large, which was alright, it was clear that the bodice was too large and looked awkward on her.

"It was always too big on me. I never really had a chance to wear it." She handed Ella another dress, thick velvet that was a light blue color, which seemed to almost match the comforter and curtains of the room.

This one was not a good fit either, though it was too tight. Ella stepped out from behind the screen and Lucy winced. "Not a bad look, but I can tell it's too snug."

Ella nodded and attempted to lift her arms, but couldn't. "Yeah…" She went behind the curtain again and struggled to get it off.

"Do you need help?" Lucy asked.

"No," Ella answered, finally freeing herself of the dress. "I guess we are back to the large one," she said.

"Well…let me go get one other one, it will just take a moment."

Ella heard soft footsteps as Lucy hurried away. She wasn't sure where the other girl was going, but she only had to wait a minute for her to return. "Try this," she said, carefully handing her another dress, this one light blue, over the top of the screen.

Ella took it and pulled it on. It was not as fancy as the other dresses. She imagined the dress was made of cotton, though if it was, it was thick cotton. Or perhaps it was wool, though it would be considered thin wool. No matter what it was, it felt comfortable and she pulled it on. Though there was a need to tighten the laces in the back, she could tell this one fit quite well, even if the hem seemed a little long.

She reached her hands back and gave a tug on the laces to tighten the dress a little, having it lose enough to be comfortable, but tight enough to not slide off.

"Need a hand?" Lucy asked.

"No, just one more minute," Ella said, managing to tie the laces into a bow without attempting to look behind her.

She stepped out from behind the screen. "What do you think?"

Lucy just looked at her for a moment, her face not betraying any emotion.

"Is it bad? I can wear the first one," she offered.

"No, no, it looks good on you," Lucy said. "For a moment it seemed like Susan was here. That's her dress. You're both closer in size than you and I are."

Ella bit her lip, brushing off her dress. It felt almost like wearing the dress of a ghost.

"You should leave it on," Lucy assured her. "You look wonderful in it and I am sure that Susan would want you to wear it. So do I. If I didn't, I wouldn't have gotten it from her room." She picked up a pair of slippers that seemed to match the dress. "These should fit."

Ella pulled them on and was pleased that they felt warm and comfortable, yet not heavy at all. They did fit well. "So, do I look like one of you now?"

Lucy nodded. "You certainly are a daughter of Eve and you do look like you belong in Narnia." The moment ended when Ella's stomach growled again and Lucy laughed. "Come, let's see what the others have prepared. You should eat."


	13. A Fireside Talk with Peter

**Chapter 12**

Ella sighed and rolled over in bed again. Dinner had been nice after the initial shock seen on Edmund's and Peter's faces when they saw her wear the dress. They had told stories about Narnia and she told them how things were in her world as well. She also told them all about the box, the journals and even the locket/ She thought one of them might say it wasn't the right thing to do, reading someone else's personal thoughts, but no one said that. Lucy had even insisted that Ella keep the necklace on, even though Ella had offered it to the other girl.

After a while, she had started to yawn and Lucy had shown her to a bedroom. It was the same size of Lucy's, though the colors were different, purples instead of blue. Lucy also set out a hairbrush, a robe and a nightgown for Ella before leaving her. After changing and brushing her hair, Ella had sighed, feeling her muscles relax on the soft mattress. She was exhausted after all that had happened and all the walking she had done. Yet, she couldn't sleep. For one thing, it wasn't very dark. The second was that everyone else was still awake. They didn't have to sleep.

After kicking off the blankets yet again, not certain if she was too hot or too cold, she came to realize that no matter how tired she was, she wasn't ready to go to sleep.

She got up and pulled the robe around her, tightening the sash around her. It was soft and she found it comfortable.

She considered putting on the slippers she had been wearing earlier, but decided to go barefoot. The floor didn't feel cold and after wearing her boots for such a long walk, she was not looking forward to putting anything else on her feet.

No one said that there was any place she couldn't go, so she decided to explore Cair Paravel. She took her time, pausing in front of tapestries or paintings she saw. There were animals there and creatures she had only read about in Susan's journals. She wondered if she would ever meet a faun or a unicorn or any of the many others that had been mentioned.

She paused when she reached a partially opened door. She looked in and realized she was in the library. It was a large room with shelves of books that nearly reached the ceiling. There was a ladder near the door to show that was how people reached those higher shelves.

Along one wall, there was a fireplace, crackling quietly, giving the room a very comfortable feeling. There were oversized chairs and sofas near the fire, making it the perfect spot if someone wanted to read.

There was a large window where large, rich velvet curtains that could be pulled back. Ella couldn't tell what was out there because one of the curtains was covering half of the window. The other had been covering the window, but had been moved just enough for the long figure standing there to look outside.

Ella hesitated, realizing she seemed to be intruding and she took a step back. She decided she could leave without making any noise.

"You don't have to leave," Peter said from where he was standing. He didn't turn to face her.

"You seemed deep in thought," she said.

He sighed and the light coming through the window allowed her to see that his shoulders were slumped, taking away his regal bearing. "I have a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ella asked.

She waited, but didn't get a response. The only sound was the crackling of the fire. Seconds seemed to last hours and finally she spoke up. "I know you don't like me, but I was just trying to help."

He exhaled loudly. "I don't dislike you," he insisted, finally turning to look at her.

"That doesn't mean you like me," she pointed out.

"Ella, it is complicated," he responded, taking a step closer to her. Then, he motioned to the sofa and chairs by the fire. "Sit down." It was an invitation and Ella settled onto one of the two sofas.

Peter walked over, shutting the curtain behind him and sat in the chair closest to her. "The light can fade the covers of the books. That isn't a problem in the garden but…" he shrugged, clearly not certain what the light outside the garden might do.

"It is hard to get used to the fact that it is always light outside," Ella remarked.

Peter nodded. "There are times when it does get dark though." He looked concerned and Ella couldn't figure out why.

"The sun sets…that happens."

"Not here," he responded. "And it isn't like that, with the stars and the moon. It is darker. Like a storm, but it doesn't rain."

"If it isn't a storm, what is it?"

"Tash and those from the Shadowlands are attempting to corrupt the land. This new Narnia. They can't get into the garden, but perhaps one day they will. Or what if they capture someone walking near it. They could have grabbed you."

Ella shivered, in spite of the fire and the robe. "That what would have happened?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Some have disappeared. Others who have looked at the door said they have heard shouts from the other side, but no one has dared go into it. I imagine that they are being kept there. In the old, destroyed Narnia. It is cold, without anything living. No stars, no moon…nothing."

"Then what about the shadowlanders?"

"Good triumphs, but for good to be good, there has to be bad. Somehow there were survivors. They hate Aslan and they hate Narnia. Hate can be a powerful emotion. They are bringing their hate here. It taints this place. Their hate brings fear and anger, which is like a sickness, taking away the purity of this new Narnia."

"How is this new Narnia? What was wrong with old Narnia?"

He gave her a tight smile. "All the things I just mentioned. It was time for that world to end and this new one to begin."

For some reason, that sounded interesting. "How does a world end?"

He shook his head. "It is a long description that is hard to explain. It was something one really had to see."

"That isn't much of an answer. And you never did say why you disliked me…or didn't dislike me," she added. She snuggled into the robe, pulling her knees closer to get comfortable.

Peter reached over and handed her a blanket that had been draped over the back of the sofa. "Here."

"Thanks," she said, snuggling under it. The fire had made it comfortable in the room, but now she was warm.

"So the reason I have been acting strange…it's been hard, Ella. We have all wanted to see Susan again. We hoped that she would be the one to come. We need her. We defeated the White Witch, the four of us. I know that we can't do this without her. Aslan told us not to lose faith, but I find that more difficult with each passing hour. Not just for this world but for her. Except for what you have told us, we know nothing about her. What her life is like…what she is like. I had thought so long about all the scenarios except for this one…that she is not the one who has come to our aid when we need her. I feel like we are missing a queen, but I fear I might never see my sister again. Even if I did see her again, she might be a stranger to me."

Ella nodded and reached out, patting his forearm. "I am sure that Susan is just like the Susan you used to know."

"Which version? The one interested only in being an adult? The serious, yet still believing girl? Or the sweet, younger sister?"

"I don't know," Ella admitted. "I don't have a lot of experience with siblings."

"You don't have any?"

Ella shook her head then hesitated. "Well…biologically I do. I haven't seen her since we were very young. She still lives with my parents." She noted Peter's confused look and continued. "I lived with my grandmother. I am not sure why they felt they needed to send me away, but they did. Boarding school for a while, then I was living with my grandmother. I haven't seen or heard from my sister in about ten years."

Peter frowned. "Have you tried to contact her?"

Ella shook her head. "No."

"You should. I imagine she would be happy to hear from you."

"She could contact me," Ella pointed out, snuggling deeper under the blanket. "She hasn't though so I doubt she wants to talk to me."

"She could, but maybe she thinks you don't want to talk to her."

Ella frowned. She knew that Peter was trying to help, but she had built up walls of defense about her sister, now he was trying to take all those down. "We aren't talking about her…"

Peter sighed. "At least think about it."

Ella sighed. "I will think about it." She would, but she had a feeling nothing would change. "So, we were talking about Susan."

Peter nodded. "Yes, we were. You are good at changing the subject when you're uncomfortable."

Ella didn't respond because she knew he was right.

"We just all need to be together again. You're the only one who can make that happen."

"I don't even know Susan," Ella pointed out.

"You know her enough. You read her journals. You knew about her marriage. You could hire someone to find her."

"Or I could just use the internet," Ella admitted.

"The what?" Peter asked.

Ella shook her head. "The world has changed since you were alive."

"I can imagine," was his response.

Ella just gave another small nod, getting comfortable under the blanket. So Peter was worried about his sister and felt Ella could help. She wasn't sure if she was the person for the job, but she wasn't worrying about that. Instead, she felt herself growing weary. The crackling of the warm fire and the soft blanket were comforting and though she fought it, her eyes closed and she fell asleep.


	14. Weapon Training

**Chapter 13**

Ella woke some time later, slowly opening her eyes. Her gaze landed on the fireplace where there was nothing but ash and burning embers.

Glancing at the other chair, she saw that Peter was no longer there. Though, she supposed he wouldn't have stayed. There were probably other things to do.

As she slowly sat up from where she had been laying, the blanket still wrapped around her, she noticed a small bundle of clothes on one of the other chairs. She reached over and picked it up, noticing that there were shoes and another dress, as well as a hairbrush and ribbon. She supposed that Lucy had something to do with it.

When she was sure she was alone, she changed her clothing once more. The dress was not a fancy one made of silk or satin, but something more durable. It was green in color with a little embroidery on the sleeves. The shoes were sturdy, yet not as heavy as her winter boots were. She brushed the tangles out of her hair, and then pulled it back into a ponytail, using the ribbon to keep it in place. She touched the locket to make sure it was still there, and then went to explore and see where everyone else was.

Exploring alone was not easy for Ella as she found herself turned around more than once. She wasn't certain where she was going, but she did notice when she had been in the same room more than once.

After concluding there was no one in that part of Cair Paravel, when she passed by the large doors, she decided to look outside. If they weren't there, she wasn't sure what else she could do. She didn't want to just sit and wait in the library. She tried to hold back fears that maybe they were all gone and she was left alone. It was an odd feeling. She was used to being alone so much in her life, yet, she knew she would not only be confused without their help, but she would miss their company.

She pulled open the large door and could hear voices as well as a few other sounds she couldn't place. She let out a sigh of relief and hurried to where she heard the voices.

As she rounded a corner, she saw Peter and Edmund circling each other, both of them holding swords. She gasped, wondering what was happening. Why were they fighting? It didn't make any sense.

Peter lunged and in movements too fast for Ella to see, Edmund ended up on the ground. His sword fell out of his hand and Peter held the sword point at Edmund's neck. Ella was too stunned to speak, though she wanted to shout out to them.

They stayed like that for a moment, and then Peter grinned and moved his sword, offering his hand to Edmund. The younger Pevensie brother took his older brother's hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet.

Ella just stood there, watching, feeling relieved. They were just practicing. She didn't know how she would have felt if the two brothers had decided to really fight.

"Not a lot of sword practice back at home?"

A voice behind her made her jump and she saw Eustace standing there.

"No," she admitted.

"They have to practice. Besides, those aren't real blades. Not like this one." He touched the scabbard at his side. "They use wooden swords. They might hurt if you get hit with one, but you won't be killed or need stitches. There are real practice swords, but who are we to question to kings?" He paused, and then added with a smile, "Even if they are my cousins."

"I thought they were fighting," Ella admitted.

"I know they didn't always get along, but I don't think any brothers are closer than they are," he answered, walking over toward the other two men. Ella noticed that the girls were sitting a short distance away on the grass, focusing on things in their laps, though Ella couldn't tell what the items were.

"Do you have any siblings?" she asked as she fell into step with Eustace.

He shook his head. "But I have my cousins and that is something."

Peter and Edmund noticed them and waved in greeting. Ella waved back. "Hello," she greeted them as they got closer.

"How did you sleep?" Peter asked.

"Very well, thank you," Ella smiled. She noticed that the two Pevensies were looking at her strangely and she brushed down her hair, wondering if it was sticking up. "What is it?"

"It was one of Susan's dresses," Edmund responded.

Ella felt very self conscious. "I didn't know. The clothes were just sitting there. The shoes too," she said, pulling up the hem of her skirt to show them. "I thought they were for me to wear."

"They are."

The others turned to Lucy, who had approached them. "I left those for you. They fit you well and Susan doesn't need them at the moment," she said, addressing not just Ella, but the others as well. "I don't see why they should be kept in a closet when they could be worn. Susan would have been fine with it."

"I think Lucy is right," Eustace spoke up.

Peter sighed then smiled. "Lu is always right."

"Not always," Lucy responded, looking bashful, her cheeks turning a few shades pinker.

"Often then," Peter responded, grinning at his younger sister before turning to Ella once more. "And she is right about that. You should wear Susan's things, if they fit. You can't wear what you came in."

Ella nodded. "That's true." It would be too hot to wear those clothes and though she preferred jeans, she found that these dresses in Narnia didn't hinder her like she thought they would.

"So, you saw us practicing. Have you ever used a sword?" Peter asked.

"No," Ella answered.

"How about a bow and arrows?" Edmund asked. "The girls collected all the arrows they could and are making new ones," he explained.

Ella glanced over at the other two girls and realized they were checking over arrows and she saw some straight pieces of wood.

"I have never touched a bow in my life," Ella admitted. "Or any weapon."

"Neither had we," Eustace said, unsheathing his sword. He held it carefully in two hands and presented it to Ella, the hilt angled toward her. Her fingers wrapped around the hilt and lifted it as Eustace pulled his hands away.

The weight surprised her and she almost dropped the heavy weapon. She managed to wrap her other hand around the hilt and lifted it. "This is heavy," she insisted, knowing she was stating the obvious.

"It gets easier with practice," Peter assured her.

Ella moved the sword from side to side, trying to get used to the movements. "It would take a lot of practice," she muttered. She moved, slicing in the air to see how it felt. It was not easy and she couldn't do it with one hand. After just a few swings, she could feel an unfamiliar strain on her arms. Though she did not consider herself physically weak, she was not used to attempting to use sword.

"I don't think swords are for me," Ella remarked, lowering the sword. "It's too heavy and I don't think I could even try the moves you did." She carefully handed it back to Eustace who easily slid the sword back into its sheath.

"Do you want to attempt archery?" Lucy offered.

Ella realized she didn't really have much of a choice. "Sure," she answered. "It has to go better than the sword." She followed Lucy back to where the other girls were. She was surprised to note that Polly didn't seem to have a weapon while Jill had a sword.

"You fight with a sword too?" she asked as they approached.

Jill nodded. "I had a little experience before. I'm not bad, but I'm not as good as the boys," she motioned to Eustace, Peter and Edmund who were all now practicing with wooden swords.

Polly got to her feet. "Come on, we've got a target set up." She led the way and Ella followed. Shooting a bow and arrow had to be easier than using a sword.


	15. Letting Go of Anger

**Chapter 14**

Ella sighed in frustration. "I am never going to get this."

"You've got the form right," Lucy offered, trying to be helpful. She walked over to Ella and just slightly bend Ella's arm a little more. "Just like that."

Polly and Jill had left to make some food and they probably knew that Ella didn't want such an audience to her shortcomings. Lucy had insisted on staying with her though.

"I might have the form right, but that doesn't mean the rest of it is right."

She looked at the target, which she had yet to hit. Arrows had flown to either side of the target as well as above and below. Those were the lucky shots. Most didn't seem to get near the target.

"You are getting frustrated. You need to be calm and collected."

Ella took a deep breath and let it out. Her shoulders and arms were tense from attempting to shoot an arrow, but she was determined she would hit the target at least once. She wasn't sure how long she had been trying, but each passing moment was more and more frustrating.

She lifted the bow again, fitting an arrow in the string. She tried to remember all the tips Lucy gave her, how to focus, breathing just right. She released the string and the arrow sailed close to the target, skimming the edge.

"That's good," Lucy encouraged. "You're getting better."

"Well, I couldn't get much worse," she sighed.

"Maybe fighting just isn't right for you. I have a dagger, but I also have the cordial to help heal people. Susan was always the one who was talented in archery. She beat every person that tried to challenge her." Lucy smiled, clearly finding it a fond memory.

"You sound very proud of her," Ella commented.

"Of course, I am."

Ella shook her head. "You make it sound like you were all perfect growing up, but I did read about arguments and fights."

"Of course we had those. All children do. Siblings might argue, but you still love them, no matter their shortcomings."

Ella was silent as she retrieved some of the arrows that were scattered around. Lucy kept up with her, picking up a few of them as well, sliding them into the quiver she was carrying.

"Why don't you ever talk about your sister?" Lucy asked.

"What?" Ella was surprised.

"Peter told me that you had a sister, but that you don't stay in touch. You don't even mention her."

Ella sighed. "Because there is nothing to say. She lives with my parents and I used to live with my grandmother. Before that, I went to boarding school."

"I went to boarding school. So did Peter, Edmund and Susan. There is nothing wrong with them. That still doesn't explain why you don't talk to or talk about your sister. What is her name? How old is she?"

"She's five years younger than me. Her name is Kara."

"So, why haven't you talked to Kara?" Lucy asked as she collected the final arrow, putting it back into the quiver.

"I guess we have nothing to say to each other," Ella responded as she added her collected arrows to the quiver as well.

Lucy shook her head. "You might. You don't know unless you try."

"She could get in touch with me," Ella insisted.

"Maybe she is afraid you don't want to talk to her," Lucy answered. "And that's sad. You are sisters. You should at least try. You could send her a letter or a card if you don't want to actually see her."

Ella sighed. "It isn't that simple, Lucy. My parents sent me away to boarding school, but they kept her. She was the one they wanted, not me."

Lucy looked at her for a moment before quietly speaking. "Why are you punishing yourself and your sister just because you are mad at your parents?"

"What?"

"I can tell you are angry at them. You need to let that go. The past is in the past and nothing can change that. You have the right to be angry or hurt by what they did. Yet, you are punishing your sister by staying out of her life. If you talked to her, maybe then you wouldn't be alone. I did hear what you said to Aslan. And you are punishing yourself by keeping her and others at a distance. Anger takes so much energy when you could be doing so much good with that energy."

Ella sighed and took one of the arrows from the quiver, lifting it again to shoot at the target. However, she lowered it after a moment and looked at Lucy. "What sort of good?" She didn't want to admit it, but Lucy had made her think. She was still certain about getting in touch with Kara, but maybe she was right about letting go of her anger.

"Anything. You could work in a garden, or help other people."

"I walk my neighbor's dog because she hurt herself on the ice."

"That's a start," Lucy smiled, encouragingly. "You could take up a hobby. If she ever felt frustrated or stressed here, Susan shoot a bow and arrows. She said it helped her relax. She just focused on her breathing and aiming for the target. She forgot the issues for awhile and when she came back to them, they didn't seem as difficult."

"I find it more frustrating," Ella answered.

"Because you won't let go of anger. Aren't you tired of holding it in?" she asked.

Ella's eyes watered and she brushed away at them, thinking there had to be something irritating them. Without realizing it, a small choking sob escaped and she realized she was actually crying. She was tired of being angry, but she wasn't sure she even knew what it was like to feel anything else. She was angry at everyone. Her mother and father who left her, her sister who had taken her place, her grandmother for leaving her.

She felt the bow and arrow being taken from her, and then felt too arms wrap around her. She knew it was Lucy and that one kind gesture made the tears fall harder. "I am tired of being angry," she admitted, her own arms wrapping around Lucy.

"Then let it go," Lucy murmured. "You can't control the actions of others, but you can control how you handle those situations. People make mistakes and sometimes they learn from it and sometimes they don't. There was a famous writer, though you might not know him now, named Mark Twain. Once he said "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured". You are the vessel and just let it go, Ella. It's alright. I know you might be scared, but you have many people here who do care about you and none of us like to see you hurting yourself this much."

At that, Ella began to cry harder and slowly sank to the ground, Lucy beside her. Lucy didn't speak, but just held her, letting her cry.

Ella wasn't sure if minutes or hours passed before she had finished crying. Her breath was shaky and a few shivers ran though her body as the final tear fell. She felt exhausted, but also strangely cleansed. She had never cried in front of someone before and she thought if she did, she would feel embarrassed. Instead, she felt relieved to have someone there with her.

She pulled back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Feel better?"

Ella nodded, and then gave Lucy a small smile. "I don't remember the last time I cried like that. I feel better though."

"Less angry?"

Ella considered it, and then nodded. "More…sad that there is no way to go back in time to fix things, but not angry like before. It's a strange feeling."

"The sadness will fade," Lucy assured her. "Come, I am sure you could use a bite to eat. Or some tea. That always made me feel better."

Ella nodded, slowly getting to her feet. Her eyes fell on the bow and arrow that had been set aside. She picked them up and aimed them at the target again. She didn't have all that anger making her tense. Instead, she felt calmer than ever, even if she was a bit tired.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, lining up the shot once more. She released the string and the arrow flew, hitting the target for the first time. It was to the side of the center, but Ella couldn't help grinning.

"I knew you would manage it," Lucy grinned.

"Thanks," Ella smiled. At that moment her stomach growled and it made them both laugh. "I guess it is time to get some food."

Lucy grabbed the arrow from the target, putting it back in the quiver, which she handed to Ella as they walked back inside. Ella was surprised that even though she was in a new place in a situation that seemed too impossible to be real, she felt better than she had in a long time.


	16. Attack and Retreat

**Chapter 15**

Ella ate the food in front of her, glad that Lucy was at least having tea. She would have felt self-conscious if she was the only one with a plate and cup in front of her.

They had walked past the others, who had been talking inside. Peter had invited them to join, but Ella insisted she needed something to eat and Lucy agreed to accompany her. Ella was grateful because she couldn't remember exactly where the kitchens were located.

Thinking back to the others, Ella asked, "Where's Diggory? I didn't see him out there and I haven't seen him since I woke up."

"He went back to the garden, but he will come back. Maybe he will bring friends. I think you would get on well with them."

"This place could house a lot of friends," Ella remarked, causing Lucy to laugh.

"It could, it has in the past."

"I am sorry all of you are gone from the garden. From what everyone has said, it seems to be an amazing place."

"It is," Lucy agrees. "Maybe one day you will be there. It just isn't now. And you should know we don't mind being here. We wouldn't leave you here alone."

"Thank you," Ella smiled. She was tired after her attempts at archery and crying earlier. She was certain she should be embarrassed; she never wanted to cry in front of others. However, she didn't feel that way with Lucy. In fact, it seemed as if she had known the other girl more than just a few hours.

Lucy smiled. "You're wel-"

A shout could be heard, causing Lucy to stop midsentence, smile fading. The two young women listened and when there was another shout, they both got up from the table, abandoning their food and tea.

Lucy ran faster than Ella thought was possible. Ella followed, pulling up the hem of her skirt so she wouldn't trip over it.

The doors to the inside of Cair Paravel were thrown open and Lucy didn't hesitate to run outside. Ella decided to do the same. Reaching the entry way, she paused, amazed by what she saw.

There was a pack of ten wolves growling at Peter, Edmond and Eustace as they circled the three men. The men were standing with their backs against each other, their swords drawn.

Lucy was standing near them, her hand on the hilt of a small dagger she wore on a belt.

Peter glanced up when he saw movement and shook his head at the girls before his attention turned to the wolves again.

"Go back to where you came," Peter said in a strong, confident voice.

There was chuckling sound. "We're not going anywhere. This land will be ours." Though she had seen talking horses, Ella was surprised to hear the wolves talking. They were smart, sentiment creatures, like the talking horses.

"Never!" Edmund announced.

"You will be destroyed then," another wolf spoke.

"And you will join the others trapped," the first wolf responded.

Ella saw the three men tense. Apparently this was something new to them. They didn't say anything about it though. Their swords were at the ready.

"Any last words?" spoke the first wolf, who seemed to be the leader.

"I am Sir Peter Wolfsbane for a reason," Peter announced. Ella briefly remembered the story from the journals.

"And I am son of Maugrim!" the wolf snarled. "I will rip you apart while the ogres, the minatours, the giants and the hags destroy the rest of them. They are coming." The wolf sniffed the air then spun around, seeing Lucy and Ella. Lucy unsheathed her dagger, holding it ready in her hand.

"You daughter of Eve will meet the same fate. That dagger is no match for us." He sniffed the air again and cocked his head to the side slightly. "And the other one isn't like us at all. She doesn't belong. She'll meet her end just like the others."

The wolf took a step closer and then gave a howl as an arrow hit him near his shoulder, the wooden shaft impaled in his skin.

Ella took a glance up, from where the arrow seemed to come from. From a few stories up, she saw a familiar head look out and recognized Jill. A second arrow flew from another window, probably Polly, Ella decided and this hit another wolf that was still circling the men.

The lead wolf snarl. "Attack them!" he ordered his wolves.

There was a blur of metal and fur as the wolves attacked the three men. They were wearing armor, but they were greatly outnumbered.

Ella felt unable to move, wanting to run back inside and hide while wanting to rush to the aid of Peter, Edmund and Eustace. Torn and confused, she couldn't even move.

Lucy was facing down the other wolf that was stalking closer, limping due to the arrow. Another arrow flew by, missing the wolf by a few inches and he snarled at Jill and Polly who were still up above.

Ella realized they weren't shooting at the other wolves because they might hit Edmund, Peter or Eustace.

Ella heard a loud bellowing sound and saw a sight even more terrifying than the wolves. She had learned about mythology and knew that, standing in front of her, was a minotaur. It was much taller than Ella and dangerous. Ella noticed the sharp horns and then realized it was also wielding an ax.

"What did I get myself into?" Ella whispered. She saw another creature coming closer, laughing manically. It sounded like a woman, but she was a terrifying one. Ella shrunk back. She had no weapons. She had nothing. Even if she did, there was no way to defeat them all.

There was only one thing she could do. "Aslan…Aslan help," she whispered. "We need help."

At that moment, there was a thundering of hooves and Ella saw another group of creatures appear from around the side of Cair Paravel. There were horses and on these horses, there were riders. Four men and two women. The women broke away from the men, a few riderless horses following them while the men pulled out their swords. Ella felt her heart sink thinking they were attacking until she noticed that one of them was Diggory. Help had arrived.

Ella wasn't sure but she had a feeling one of the other men might be Caspian. She couldn't be certain though. There were no pictures of him.

Then there was a barking sound and Ella saw a pack of dogs of various breeds. They must have been following the horses appeared. They charged straight for the wolves, biting and growling. Two of them tackled Maugrim's son to the ground, saving Lucy.

"There are many more coming," came a male voice. Since there were only women, Ella figured it had to be one of the horses. Though now that she had a moment to look at them and not at the battle, she realized one of the riderless horses wasn't a horse at all. It was a unicorn. She gasped when she saw him. Yes, there had been amazing things before. She hadn't believed in a minotaur but she had just seen one. Yet, where the minatour had been ugly and scary, the unicorn was beautiful and majestic.

"Jewel is right," one of the women said. "We can keep back these, but more are coming and there aren't enough of us."

"The safest place is the garden," the other woman said.

"We can go in, but Ella can't," Polly said, appearing at Ella's side. Jill was with her. "She is still alive, so she can't enter the garden yet."

The women frowned. "That is the only place they can't reach."

All of a sudden Jill gasped and the others turned to see why. Eustace and Edmund seemed to have escaped the wolves with minor injuries, but Peter was bleeding from bites on his legs and there was some blood around his head. Eustace and Edmund were standing between Peter, helping him to one of the horses.

Lucy rushed over to them and took out a small bottle. "Peter, you need the cordial."

"No, Lu. Save it. I'm fine." He looked pale and Lucy exchanged a look with Edmund. Nothing needed to be said aloud, but everyone knew Peter needed to get out of battle.

"Go," Ella spoke up. "Get back to the garden."

Lucy frowned. "But you can't go there."

"Don't worry about me," Ella answered. Peter needed rest and some medical attention. The others didn't need to risk themselves. She didn't know if she could be hurt or killed in this land. She also didn't know what would happen if that did happen. Would she truly die back home? She didn't have the answers to this and didn't want to find out. "You all should go."

"We can't just leave you here alone!" Lucy protested.

"We won't," Edmund said. "The rest of you go. You're right, we can't fight them, but we can retreat. When you get back to the garden, ask Fledge to come. Most can't fly and Fledge can keep her safe as we work out a new plan in the garden."

"Fledge?" Ella asked.

"A winged horse," Jewel, the unicorn answered. "There is no more time. We need to go."

Lucy turned and hugged Ella, who returned it. Though she had known her for only a short time, she felt extremely saddened to be apart from the other girl. It was brief because they all knew that they had limited time.

Lucy pulled herself onto one of the horses with ease as Eustace and Edmund helped Peter. The high king grimaced in pain, but didn't complain. Polly and Jill got on other horses. Not as graceful at Lucy, but they certainly seemed comfortable on a horse.

"You're next," Edmund was beside her and laced his fingers together next to another horse. This one didn't have a saddle, just a blanket on its back. Glancing at the other horses, Ella realized that none of the horses

"But…there's no saddle."

"Just hold onto my mane and you'll be fine," the horse spoke up, trying to reassure her.

Ella was not used to animals speaking, but she knew there wasn't time to stop and think about it. Instead, she stepped on Edmund's linked fingers and he boosted her onto the horse's back. Ella tried to feel steady on the horse, but it was hard without a saddle. She tangled her fingers in the horse's mane hoping she wouldn't fall off.

Edmund pulled himself onto his horse. "Come on, Phillip!" he urged and the horse took off. Ella's horse took off after his. Ella fought to urge to wrap her arms around the horse's neck. She leaned forward slightly like she saw Edward do and just held on. She didn't even dare glance back to see how the others were doing. She just hoped they would all make it to the garden and that Peter would heal.


	17. An Open Door

**Chapter 16**

The horses' hurried gait became a motion that Ella started to get used to, yet she didn't release her hold on the horse's mane. She was leaning forward, just holding on, trying to not bounce on the horse's back. Every time she did, she felt the jolt in her tailbone.

She wasn't sure where they were going, but she knew the horses and Edmund had to have a plan.

Finally, what could have been minutes later or hours later, her horse started to slow and she noticed that Edmund was doing the same. The horses stopped galloping, slowing into a gentle canter. It had more of a rocking motion that Ella didn't mind. The canter turned into a trotting motion, causing more pain to her already sore tailbone. Then, the horses were walking.

Once Ella was certain they were going slower, she relaxed her hold on the horse's mane, untangling her fingers. Her fingers hurt from holding on so tight and she knew the horse must have not have been comfortable.

"Sorry," she apologized to the horse.

"Quite alright," the horse assured her.

Ella looked around her surroundings, and then looked at Edmund. "Where are we?"

"It is a place not many of us go," he admitted, dismounting from the horse. He walked to Ella's side and offered a hand to help her off. Ella managed to land on her feet, and then winced. She wasn't used to riding. No wonder cowboys in movies walked funny. She shook one leg, then the other. Edmund offered her his arm and she took it, feeling a little silly, as if they were going to a dance.

Edmund led her to the top of the next hill and pointed.

There was a wooden doorframe, just standing there without any signs of supports or a brace to keep the door where it was. Ella saw a golden key in the lock of the door and saw it was partially ajar.

Through the opening in the door, she had expected to see more of the grass and sunlight, but it was dark. She couldn't tell what was there, but she felt a chill run through her. Something seemed wrong with where that door led.

"What is that?" she managed to ask.

"The door that was opened."

"Why would someone do that?"

Edmund sighed then held a finger to his lips. "Just listen."

Ella was silent and was about to say she heard nothing, but then there was a faint sound. It sounded like someone was crying. She heard the word "help". Then she heard a few more voices cry out. There weren't really words, just sounds of anguish. It was so raw and harsh, it gave her goosebumps and all she could feel was sadness and emotional pain. It brought tears immediately to her eyes.

Ella shut her eyes tight and covered her ears, trying to block out what she heard.

She felt someone touch her shoulder after a moment and she slowly lowered her hands.

"That is what was heard. There was a soldier who was brought here, though he wasn't Narnian. He heard the voice of people he knew and thought he might save them. Once he opened the door, it couldn't be closed. The voices you were are some of those left, but we assume some of those taken as well.

"Taken? Like what the wolf said?"

Edmund nodded. "Some who ventured outside the garden have never returned. We have searched from them, but without luck."

"Have a lot left the garden?"

"We don't need to. In fact, I think most prefer to stay there. Yet, if the door is open, it will attack this place and eventually might destroy the garden."

"So how can you stop it?" Ella asked.

"We need Tash to be destroyed, which would send him back to the doorway. Then, it can be locked. Yet, no arrows have hit him and those that have attacked at close range have disappeared."

"How can Susan help?"

"She is an excellent archer. She could hit Tash. The problem is, we have others trapped there, we think. We have to rescue them."

Ella nodded. "Has anyone tried?"

"We haven't been able to get through the doorway."

"Because you're…." she hesitated. "Dead?" she winced at the word.

"We think so. And it isn't really like death that you think of. We're all still here," he pointed out. "It's just another chapter of a book. One that doesn't end."

"That makes it sound less scary," Ella admitted.

Edmund smiled. "It wasn't scary at all. I didn't feel the crash. Just a jolt, then I was here."

"Do you think when I…you know…do you think I might end up here?" she asked after a moment.

"I don't know," Edmund admitted. "You are a friend of Narnia. I don't see why not. Do you want to though? What about your family and friends?"

"I don't really have friends," Ella admitted. "My only family that I really knew is my grandmother who passed away. I don't really talk to my parents or my sister." She saw Edmund was going to say something about that so Ella shook her head. "I've already had Lucy talk to me. Here, even with all that has happened, I feel like I could belong here. Even though I have felt lost and confused, you've all been very kind to me."

Edmund nodded and wrapped an arm around her. Ella found it comforting and leaned against him. She had never been like this with a man before, but she didn't feel some sort of nervous energy or excitement. Girls in movies were like that with the loves of their lives, but this wasn't with someone she loved in a romantic sense. She found it calming and relaxing.

They just stood like that for a moment, until they heard a soft whinny.

Edmund dropped his arm as he and Ella looked over their shoulders. Ella glanced at the horses, not seeing anything that might be bothering them.

However, Edmund was looking up and gave a sharp whistle. Then, he pointed up to the sky. Ella saw that there was a horse. No, not a horse, a horse with wings. A Pegasus. The horse was gliding through the air and coming closer.

"Fledge found us fast."

"That's Fledge?"

He nodded as the winged horse easily landed on the ground. The horse gave a small bow to Edmund. "King Edmund."

Edmund shook his head. "You don't have to call me that," he told the winged horse. From his tone, Ella knew this was probably a conversation they had a lot.

Fledge stood upright again. "You are still one of the kings. You must be Lady Ella."

"I'm not a lady," Ella shook her head. "I'm just Ella."

"You are Lady Ella to all," Fledge answered.

"Best not to argue. He won't change his mind," Edmund told her, then turned to the horse. "Could you fly around with Ella for a little while Fledge?"

"Queen Lucy explained it to me," Fledge nodded.

Edmund frowned. "And how is Peter?"

"The high king has been injured and is being tended to. He is expected to make a full and complete recovery in no time."

Edmund sighed in relief. "Good." Then he turned to Ella. "Time to get on."

"How will we know when to come back?" Ella asked, trying not to think about being on a flying horse. Staying on a horse that was on the ground was hard enough.

"We'll return to Cair Paravel. We will be flying two flags. Then you will know."

"What if those creatures come back and you have to leave again?"

"Then the flags will be taken down. We just need them to leave the area before we can return. We will try to come up with a plan too."

There was a howling sound that made shivers run down Ella's spine. "They're coming this way," Edmund said. He approached Fledge and linked his fingers together. Ella stepped on them and got on Fledge. She was at least getting better at mounting horses.

"Will you be alright?" Ella asked.

"Yes. Now, hold onto Fledge, he'll take care of you. I'll see you soon."

He quickly jumped onto Phillip, making it look easy to get on the horse. He waved a hand in farewell.

"Hold on, Lady Ella," Fledge told her.

Ella held on Fledge's mane and closed her eyes.

The horse ran a few steps and then Ella couldn't feel any movement. She slowly opened her eyes and gasped. They were flying. Now that she was seeing it, she could feel the flap of the wings, which were nearly silent.

"We…we're…" she whimpered.

"Flying," the winged horse answered. "Now, don't worry. And could you please just hold onto my mane?"

Ella realized that she had one arm around the horse's neck.

"I don't want to fall," she admitted.

"You won't, Lady Ella. If you slip, I will adjust until you are situated again. You will not fall. I won't let you fall."

Ella slowly loosened her hold on Fledge's neck, her fingers tangling in his mane. One thing she was relieved about was that there was no jarring motion. In fact, the flight was smooth. She was determined not to be so scared. After all, she knew that no one else, except the people in Narnia, had ever seen a winged horse, let alone fly on one. Ella slowly let herself relax a little and enjoy the view from where they were flying. She knew Narnia was a whole country, but there was a lot she had never seen, only read about in the journals. She was also curious about the garden."

"Are we allowed to fly over the garden, Fledge?"

"Not you, Lady Ella. There are other places I can show you though."

Ella smiled. "Thank you, Fledge."


End file.
